Q. I was watching a Yankees versus Blue Jays game last week, and after the second inning, Michael Kay announced that there was no score. Ken Singleton countered that there was a score: nothing to nothing after two innings. Who's right? — Walter Nohstadt Jr., Columbus, N.J.

A. One reason I love baseball is that those pauses between innings allow time for reflection on linguistic subtleties and, oh yeah, commercials.

Both commentators have scored here. That's because "score" has two applicable meanings: the tally of points or runs scored in a game, thus "the score is 0-0"; and the scoring of a point or a run, hence "there is (or has been) no score since the game began."

Everyone knew what Kay meant, of course; people say "there's no score" all the time to describe 0-0 games. But, as a nitpicking word nut, my instinct is to side with Singleton — there was indeed a score: 0-0. Technically, Kay should have said, "There has been no scoring."

Q. "Onomatopoeia" is a well-known term for words that sound like their meaning, such as "buzz," "splash," "zap," etc. But is there a term for words that sound UN-like what you would expect, given their definition, such as "pulchritude"? — Matt McClimons, East Hampton, Conn.

A. I know the kind of word you mean. "Pulchritude," which means "beauty," is a great example because it sounds like something, if not exactly ugly, then puffy, ponderous and unattractive. When I was in college, if one of my friends had tried to set me up on a blind date by saying, "You'll be overwhelmed by her pulchritude," I probably would have said, "No thanks."

Similarly, "defenestration" sounds like some kind of dainty decoration or analytical, cerebral process when in fact it refers to being pushed out of a window. KERSPLAT! And I've always thought the name "dogwood" was barking up the wrong (lovely) tree.

Alas, after searching high and low, I can't find any literary or linguistic term for a word sounding like the opposite of what it means. So, rather than resort to defenestration, I'll turn to you, my pulchritudinous readers, for help:

1. Do you know of an existing term for such words?

2. Can you invent a term for such words?

3. Can you provide examples of such words?

In a few weeks, I'll provide a full report on your responses.

Rob Kyff, a teacher and writer in West Hartford, Conn., invites your language sightings. Send your reports of misuse and abuse, as well as examples of good writing, via e-mail to [email protected] or by regular mail to Rob Kyff, Creators Syndicate, 5777 W. Century Blvd., Suite 700, Los Angeles, CA 90045. To find out more about Rob Kyff and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.