DR. WALLACE: My grandmother died recently, so my grandfather will be coming to live with us soon. I like him, but he's very grouchy. He doesn't like my friends because they're in a band. They happen to have long hair and wear funky clothes. He constantly tells me that we're all bums and we'll all wind up behind bars some day.

My parents know all of my friends and approve of them. In fact, three of these guys are on the honor roll at school. None of them do drugs or alcohol, and most of them plan to attend college.

I'm not looking forward to my grandfather moving in with us, but there's not much I can do to prevent it. Any tips that can help me will be appreciated. — Rich, Oakland, Calif.

RICH: If your grandfather can't see how disagreeable he's making himself, your parents will have to set him straight. Talk things over with them now, before he moves in, so they know how you feel. They can make sure he understands that your friends have their stamp of approval.

If he still chooses to berate them, the best strategy is not to take the bait. Just smile and walk away. Whenever possible, invite one or two of your friends over specifically to meet your grandfather. Once he gets to know them — especially if they show an interest in him and treat him with respect — he'll almost certainly change his "tune" about them.

MOM CAN BECOME HEALTHIER, HAPPIER AND RICHER

DR. WALLACE: Mom is a wonderful mother. She works hard and is a good provider, and I love her very much. But she does have a very bad habit. She smokes. Not only that, she asks me to "Please light me up a cigarette, my sweetheart." If I don't light her a cigarette and then bring it to her, she gets all "pouty."

I hate lighting cigarettes because some of the smoke gets down my throat and makes me cough. It also makes me smell like a chimney. Please print my letter because I know Mom reads your column. Please tell her to stop asking me to light her cigarettes and, better yet, to stop smoking altogether. — Nameless, Elizabethtown, Ky.

MOM: Your daughter loves you very much and wants to make sure you're around for a long time. Please stop smoking. That will solve your daughter's problem and make her very happy. And it will make you healthier, happier and richer.

BIKERS ARE NOT RECKLESS RIDERS

DR. WALLACE: I enjoy riding my motorcycle and I appreciate your advice that drivers and passengers should always wear safety helmets. Wearing protective headgear is necessary, but not because we bikers are reckless riders. Automobile drivers are the ones who are reckless. Much too often, they'll change lanes without checking to see if a biker is legally riding in the next lane.

And unfortunately, when an automobile and a motorcycle "kiss," the bike riders are usually the losers. — Brad, Porterville, Calif.

BRAD: I'm printing your letter to remind everyone to drive cautiously, use directional signals and always check for motorcyclists when changing lanes. Thanks for reminding us to always check for bikers as well as other vehicles when changing lanes.

Dr. Robert Wallace welcomes questions from readers. Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. E-mail him at [email protected]. To find out more about Dr. Robert Wallace and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.