Singleness is the way of life for more men and women than ever before, not only in our country — where it has gained majority status — but worldwide. Many European countries now grant recognition of committed (aka unmarried) relationships, most with rights and privileges once strictly reserved for altar vows. Civil partnerships, civil solidarity pacts, partnership rights and registered partnership all are titles granting legal recognition to the relationship. And many rights come along with that recognition. (France's civil solidarity pact extends legal recognition to the next of kin and grants inheritance rights and tax benefits once reserved for legal marriage.) So it goes, from country to country, the outcry for government-recognized marriage alternatives crossing borders with little regard for precedent or organized resistance. Every statistic in nearly every country around the globe reflects the desire for single status.

But — and this is hugely significant, so listen up — the global tsunami of singleness in no way reflects individual inability to consider (or impatience with) another's needs. It's gratifying to report that the muscular push behind this worldwide happening is not the yearning to be insular, to have a me-only, me-first, me-always mentality. The fact is that cohabiting couples constitute the fastest-growing segment of this new single population. The need for closeness and human affection is alive and thriving, I'm happy to report, perhaps even more freely expressed now that outdated strictures are off. Musing on that, it's not difficult to realize that institutions are crumbling because they haven't responded to the shifting tectonic plates beneath marriage.

Yet be assured that this global shift is no clarion call for free love. Time and time again, it's been proved that a fundamental decency in the overwhelming majority of men and women is their choice. Indeed, even when marriage ends in divorce, the return to it comes soon after the crazy period of bed-hopping. All hail the demise of the swinging single fiction!

Morality may affirm the character of the unmarried millions (billions?) bending the world to their will, but it isn't the driving purpose of their revolution. No, this is a revolt against the stifling roles and expectations of marriage, deep revulsion at the vestigial structures so irrelevant and unnecessary in our 21st century.

We are surging toward a new kind of love, fueled by friendship and respect, because lust and loneliness have been proved to fizzle fast — with disastrous results for society. This sea change may be news to oldsters, but the young'uns have been weaned on personal freedom and can mentor us wisely on its virtue. We had better listen carefully if we're hoping to find our own love. Shaping our version of romantic togetherness would seem to be the greatest individual challenge of this new century. As with any force of nature, it deserves deep respect.

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