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R. Emmett Tyrrell
R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr.
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Of Democrats and Distractions

Comment

WASHINGTON — Now it can be told. Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, despite his lofty position in the United States Senate and despite being married to a very nice woman, has been having sex with a cow for at least three months, maybe more. How he met the cow I cannot say, as it would compromise extremely sensitive sources. Where he met her? Again, my lips are sealed. Nonetheless, it is time for Senator Reid to come clean about that cow. The Senate Majority Leaders said recently of Mitt Romney, the presumed Republican presidential nominee, that he "must prove that he has paid his taxes, because he hasn't." Well, Reid must prove he has not had sex with a cow. He must prove that he does not even know the cow. He must because he has, and he does.

So let the senator confess his relation with the cow on the floor of the United States Senate — the same hallowed spot where he leveled his tax evasion charges against Romney. Or let him deny his relationship with the cow there on the Senate floor — though he will be lying. He is not the first man to deceive the electorate from the floor of the Senate, albeit this will be the first time such a delicate topic has been raised there. Well, too bad — he should come clean.

This election is becoming an amazing spectacle. The economy is in terrible shape. The deficits are piling up all around us as growth remains sclerotic. President Barack Obama has offered only more of the same solutions that got us into this mess, plus higher taxes for the better off. Those taxes will only hobble the economy further and keep the federal grip on a historically unparalleled 24 percent to 25 percent of the economy. Romney, who as governor of Massachusetts and CEO of the Salt Lake City Olympics has demonstrated gifts as a turnaround artist, wants to conduct a campaign on the issues. The answers from Democrats are only distractions. Now his tax returns for 10 recent years are an issue raised by a dunce. Last week, the Democratic media raised another distraction, his alleged gaffes committed on his recent trip abroad.

If he paid no taxes, I assume the point is that he broke the law and should have been prosecuted. By the way, how many tax cheats have had the chutzpah to run for the presidency in recent years? As for supposed gaffes, who was it that told us once freed from the teleprompter that, "If you've been successful, you didn't get there on your own? You didn't get there on your own.

I'm always struck by people who think, well, it must be because I was just so smart. There are a lot of smart people out there. It must be because I worked harder than everybody else ... If you've got a business, you didn't build that. Somebody else made that happen ... " Yes, that was President Obama speaking, a man for whom we might invent the term gaffable, if we had not already invented the term for his vice president, Joe Biden.

Yet there is no reason to restrict the word gaffable to Biden. That Obama would attempt to make another man's supposed gaffes an issue is rather astounding. In Hawaii our president said, "When I meet with world leaders, what's striking — whether it is in Europe or here in Asia ... " To a Memorial Day crowd he yawped, "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes — and I see many of them in the audience here today — our sense of patriotism is particularly strong." From the campaign trail, he made the inscrutable geographical blunder, "I've now been in 57 states — I think one left to go." In Strasbourg, France, he confected the little-known language of Austrian when he said, "I don't know what the term is in Austrian." I could go on. On the Internet, there are whole pages detailing this president's gaffes.

Yet Romney shoves off to Europe and questions the Olympics' security in London. A Romney aide mentions our shared "Anglo-Saxon heritage" before a shocked American press — and the oaf Roger Simon, in Politico, plays the race card, commenting with feigned irony: "A black guy just isn't a member of our club and never will be." Finally, in Israel, Romney asseverates, "If you could learn anything from the economic history of the world, it's this: Culture makes all the difference." These are the lines that the media call gaffes. In truth, there was nothing wrong with the aforementioned statements. Romney speaks English and cites truth. Obama, without benefit of a teleprompter, lapses into bibble-babble.

Oh, and by the way, Senator Reid: I was just making a harmless joke — ha-ha.

R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. is founder and editor-in-chief of "The American Spectator" and an adjunct scholar at the Hudson Institute. He is the author of the forthcoming book "The Death of Liberalism." To find out more about R. Emmett Tyrrell Jr. and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate Web page at www.creators.com.

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Comments

4 Comments | Post Comment
Sir;... If the very thing that makes them rich makes us poor, then it is a fact that not one rich person, perhaps even myself included pays enough taxes... No other power is left to government over property, and no other means is allowed to government to restore the justice every good government should achieve...
On principal the commonwealth has been given over to the rich, and usually sold cheap to them rather than taxing them into poverty... The national debt has often been run up for the benefit of the rich only; but paid down by selling them more of our common property on the cheap... Only the sweetest of loves between madman and mistress can compare with the affection of our rich for government so pliant and pleasing...
Now that government has no choice but to deny the poor, or tax the rich who made the poor so plentiful; what shall they do??? Will they go broke rather than tax those without whom no election is possible???
The rich own the world, and this is their restroom... Government finds itself on its knees, or grabbing its knees for us, representing us... What will the rich demand??? What price will the rich refuse... Will it drive the very government that defends its privilage of property beyond all sense and penury into bankruptcy- expecting they can cut a better deal with the mob, or the army??? Will the rich reconstitute themselves as lords and rule, and nuke any city that does not submit??? The future will not be nothing if not interesting...
I wonder how bad it will get before the poor realize they can live better without the rich than with them??? Let us hang with these criminals and study their arts... If they have designs to rule the government, let us design to rule them... Is it not fair to harnass those with the drive to pull society up by its nads??? Though they be few, all declare they do it alone, and owe us no thanks or credit or taxes... If this is so, let us say for the sake of argument that we cannot live without them, or prefer not to, and will only trash them and sell them cheap out of dire necessity...
But here is the problem... If we took hostages; then who would pay??? They will not pay to buy equality with the meanest of working people; so what would they pay to ransom their humanity from damnation??? All of value, all of meaning and even their eternal souls they have found the price of and cashed in...What will they trade for their own dear lives, or is money dearer still??? No... The rich do not pay; but offer tokens taken back as soon as the guard is down... Mitt no more shit than the rest... He is simply no better...
Thanks...Sweeney
Comment: #1
Posted by: James A, Sweeney
Thu Aug 9, 2012 4:42 PM
"So let the senator confess his relation with the cow on the floor of the United States Senate ó the same hallowed spot where he leveled his tax evasion charges against Romney."

Of course, Reid isn't stupid. The only reason he repeated his baseless claim on the Senate floor was to shield himself from a lawsuit, since members of Congress can't be held liable for things they do or say in the course of "official business."
Comment: #2
Posted by: Jeff Gunn
Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:09 AM
Re: Jeff Gunn... I do not think it is official business to call candidates out... These guys are going to take an oath... We do expect they will have some honor in regard to it...Surely the move from private person to public president does demand a show of taxes paid... Presidents have no problem demanding sacrifice of the people... Is it not too much to ask that they have shown some of the same devotion???
Thanks...Sweeney
Comment: #3
Posted by: James A, Sweeney
Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:02 PM
Sweeney, I can guarantee one thing, if Romney committed a crime the IRS would have charged him. Also, if you are going to become President and work for the people of the United States, you should release your college transcripts, don't you agree?
Comment: #4
Posted by: Thetruth
Sun Aug 19, 2012 9:35 AM
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