Meghan McCain's Big Bust

Rule No. 1 for Being Taken Seriously: Don't post pictures of yourself on the Internet that are not safe for work (NSFW).

Rule No. 2 for Being Taken Seriously: Don't whine and cry when people criticize you for posting NSFW photos.

Meghan McCain doesn't know either one of these rules. But then, Meghan McCain doesn't know much of anything.

McCain is obviously not the brightest bulb in the chandelier. This is a woman who, while appearing on Bill Maher's show, explained that she knew nothing about Ronald Reagan because "I wasn't born yet." (Paul Begala, no intellectual titan himself, quickly responded that though he hadn't been around during the French Revolution, he knew something about it.) She thinks she's being deep when she states, "I am a woman who despises labels and boxes and stereotypes." We in the real world call that a cop-out.

Somehow, The Daily Beast has seen fit to give her a column — apparently in an attempt to test the scientific aphorism that a monkey with a typewriter can produce Shakespeare if given enough time. She has used that column to talk about how hip she is: She is pro-gay marriage, she has a tattoo, and she loves punk rock.

She has made a career by using her father's name to heighten her profile. She has also used her fat to heighten her profile: She famously started a flame-war with talk show host Laura Ingraham when Ingraham called her a "plus-sized model." McCain, who somehow parlayed that comment into a slot on "The View," responded by telling Ingraham to "kiss my fat ass."

In short, she's the Republican Roseanne, with slightly less charm.

So why should anyone care about Meghan McCain?

Because Meghan McCain is apparently attempting to foist her way into the public consciousness by using her two biggest assets — neither of which is her brain.

McCain posts regularly on Twitter, where she lets readers experience the deep moments of her life. Readers can expect rambling nonsense, generally about weight and celebrities. Pearls of wisdom like this come flowing off of McCain's keyboard: "I know what it feels like my weight is mocked every single time I do anything publicly, Jessica Simpson stay strong.

On Wednesday, Oct. 14, 2009, in yet another attempt to appear cool to her loser followers, McCain posted something historic on her Twitter account: a shot of her barely clad breasts. It's essentially a webcam pic from MySpace. Her caption: "my 'spontaneous' night in is my Andy Warhol biography and takeout .... I'm getting old."

Honestly, I'm not sure what's more shocking: that she thinks it is cutting edge to cite Andy Warhol or that she decided that the entire world needed to see her push-up cleavage.

Naturally, this caused some consternation among her more conservative followers. McCain responded to that consternation by playing the victim: "so I took a fun picture not thinking anything about what I was wearing but apparently anything other than a pantsuit I am a slut, this is why I have been considering deleting my twitter account, what once was fun now just seems like a vessel for harassment."

Then this: "when I am alone in my apartment, I wear tank tops and sweat pants, I had no idea this makes me a ‘slut', I can't even tell you how hurt I am."

Oh, really, now. Meghan McCain may hold a double-digit IQ (barely), but there is no way she could post a photo like this for millions to see without recognizing that there would be some blowback. No one cares what she does when she is "alone in her apartment" — we only care what she does when she places her front on public display.

But should we truly be surprised by this behavior? She is an attention hog, and she is getting the attention she probably lacked at home by blabbing about her butt, her boobs and her gay friends to a slobbering media eager to discredit her father. The truth is, there's nothing to see here, except a woman desperate for the spotlight.

Ben Shapiro, 25, is a graduate of UCLA and Harvard Law School. He is the author of the new book "Project President: Bad Hair and Botox on the Road to the White House," as well as the national bestseller "Brainwashed: How Universities Indoctrinate America's Youth." To find out more about Ben Shapiro and read features by other Creators Syndicate writers and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.

COPYRIGHT 2009 CREATORS.COM.