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I watched my father die in November of 2000. Since that time whenever I hear of someone's father passing, it all comes flooding back. I cannot attend a visitation or funeral of someone's father without breaking down and crying, even when I did not personally know the deceased. Susan, I think you will know what I mean when I say that since I was a little boy my father was always my hero, and it hurts all the more knowing that I never told hims so when I had the chance.

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Susan this was so touching and true. People need to know that a hug, a touch, a moment just to listen is what you do. Our society is so afraid of death and don't know how to deal with it. I was a hospice nurse for a few years and have taught my children that death is a part of life. I allowed my children to take care of the terminal and they were present when my father in law died. This helped them deal with death and they do well in moments when others are not so sure of themselves.

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Regarding your column about the number of women in leadership positions made we think of our current selection of U.S. Supreme Court Justices with only one female representative. Women make up more than half our Nations population, and they should have equal representation with our Supreme Court. Women should be the only candidates considered for the next several replacements, don't you agree?

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Susan We are on differnnt sides of the isle but on the same side of the heart, you are truely a sentimental old heart ! thanks for your kind words to the Snow family!!see we are more alike than we think !!

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I lost my youngest son on October 7, 2000, at the age of 26, and I learned so much about what not to say and the courage to be there for others. No one wants to hear that their son is in a better place, that time will make it better, that they know just what you're feeling and that you are so lucky you still have one son. There are two things to say to someone who has lost a loved or friend--'my thoughts are with you' or ' 'your friend or loved one will be missed by many people because they made such an impact on others lives'. I also learned to have the courage to be a listener when the conversation was painful. Hold someones hand while they cry and listen, not give advice, to their anger, fears, doubts about the horror they are living through. One of my fears was that my son would be forgotten--there are five children named after him, the latest being my first grandchild. I started watching Fox News to watch Tony Snow--he will be missed. I don't always agree with your views but I know you will say what you think--more people should do that.

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Dear Susan, I just read your thoughtful, moving article, and was impressed, because it mirrors my same thoughts. My father passed when he was 60 years old; no sickness, no warning. He simply died in his sleep. Ever after I have been thankful that he didn't have to suffer, but it does not assuage the pain and shock of his untimely death. I watched Tony Snow dying each day right before our eyes as he tried so hard to do his work and act as normal as he could. I loved the man for his character, and his grace. And I too think about his wife and children. Thank you Susan. You showed the same grace in this piece. We all know that you and Tony did not share the same ideology, and that makes your article all the more meaningful. Death reminds us all of our own time left on this earth, and that is perhaps why people don't come around when somebody dies, or attend funerals. As the fellow wrote: "Each man's death diminishes me", and for whom the bell tolls. etc." My best to you, Vonnie Bates

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Dear Susan, Thank you for your sensitive article. In my early years in the clergy, I was suprised that most funeral services for member congregants did not draw our entire congregation. I have since come to understand that it actually is indeed very hard for many people to attend funerals. I believe it is not just about "not knowing what to say." I suspect that funerals do open old wounds and remind us of our own threatening mortality. And while I continue to encourage people to "show up" at funerals and houses of mourning, I have slowly come (alas) to consider the fears of those who cannot... Your column may help all of us... Once again, thanks for your words... Rabbi Michael Herzbrun

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I wish my father were half the man Tony Snow was.....I have always been jealous of guys who had good fathers. Screw fame and fortune, I needed a good father. Mine is a douche bag. I corrected the mistake with my two sons, but I still would appreciate a decent role model in my life.

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Dear Susan: What a wonderful world it would be were reporters and analyzers as kind and generous as you and Tony; alas, they are not, and the world is demeaned by that fact. However, you made my day. Thank you. Juanito Verde