Thursday, January 08, 2009 | 1:37 a.m.

McCain Vows to Campaign in All 13 Colonies

by Andy Borowitz

Republican presidential nominee John McCain officially kicked off his general election campaign today, promising to bring his race for the White House to “all 13 colonies.”

At a campaign stop in the Dominion of Virginia, Sen. McCain said that if his Democratic opponent, Sen. Barack Obama, takes any of the 13 colonies for granted, “he doth so at his peril.”

Sen. McCain made his remarks in the Dominion of Virginia, which many McCain advisers concede will be a key colony in the fal ...

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Thursday, January 08, 2009 | 1:37 a.m.
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