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Markets Crash on Pictures of Obama Losing Shirt Shirtless President-Elect Creates Crisis of Confidence

by Andy Borowitz
Global markets swooned this week in reaction to photos showing that President-elect Barack Obama had lost his shirt.

The pictures depicting a shirtless Mr. Obama wandering about on a deserted stretch of beach stoked fears that the United States' financial woes were deeper than previously reported.

"We have had a steady drumbeat of bad news about the U.S. economy for weeks now," said Tracy Klugian, global asset analyst for HSBC. "Learning that the president-elect no long ...

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