A reader called and said, "You are the sixth person I have spoken with, and they all denied knowing you."

I replied, "So, you've spoken with my relatives."

"No! The newspaper office."

I sympathized. "You've been getting the runaround. It is inexcusable."

"I have a major complaint."

"Sir, you have come to the right place, but I am sorry to say this is Monday. We accept only minor complaints on Monday. We ...

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