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God Denies Talking to Pat

by Andy Borowitz

Just days after the Rev. Pat Robertson claimed on his "700 Club" program that God warned him of "mass killings" in the United States late in 2007, God held a rare press conference today to deny having spoken to the controversial televangelist.

For the usually publicity-shy King of the Universe, the press conference held at the Chicago Airport Marriott signaled a sharp break with tradition.

But appearing before the press in His trademark flowing robes and whit ...

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