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Andy Borowitz, November 1

by Andy Borowitz

After the success of Democratic presidential nominee Barack Obama's 30-minute infomercial Thursday night, the Obama campaign has confirmed that he will produce another one, this time to unveil a new breakthrough in exercise technology that will guarantee all Americans "sexy, rock-hard abs."

While most political insiders suspected that Sen. Obama would use costly airtime once again in an attempt to "close the deal" with the American people, few expected him to promis ...

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