I love the radio and television ads for a certain auto insurance company where someone is telling a friend his "tale of woe" — a laundry list of horrible things that has happened to the person — and the friend, after listening sympathetically, says, "well, yes, that's too bad, but the good news is . . . I saved a ton of money on my auto insurance!"

Those ads, ladies and gentlemen, are my life. I'm getting a ton of e-mails these days from people who tried ...

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