The gal hoping to begin dating for money is already taking advantage of a man: "But our relationship was very convenient two years ago when I left my husband and was going through my divorce." Maybe she didn't realize it at the time, but now that she knows and with so little affection for the guy and his "deal breaker" kids, she should let him find someone who actually likes him and spend some time learning how to live relying on herself. She should have done that during the divorce and afterwards in order to think about why she ended up married to someone she divorced and why she had to have a guy get her through it.
Maybe she can use some of that time to figure out how to make herself appealing to the kind of guy (with no kids) who "can take care of her," forgetting about her past need for affection.

Whatever happened to women wanting to be financially independent, and not needing some man in order to make their lives okay?

I think that the woman in the first letter is bitter about her divorce and needs counseling! She also needs to put her nose to the grindstone and get a job and/or education!