DEAR SUSAN: I've been seeing a man for eight years. He's married, but not happily. I know that's true because I know them both. (I sometimes think I've been his counselor.) I really care for him and I'm sure he cares for me, but he feels so responsible for his wife that he lets her control him by being ill most of the time. I wish I could make him see what's going on. — Marguerite M., Long Island, N.Y.

DEAR MARGUERITE: And I wish I could make YOU see what's going on! Here you are ...

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