After considerable research, I have reached the conclusion that some foods contain insidious, evil little things called "calories."
A "calorie" is the amount of energy it takes to raise 1 kilogram of water (2.2 pounds) by 1 degree Celsius. A gallon of vanilla ice cream has 2,320 calories in it, which is why, if you accidentally knock a carton of ice cream into a sink full of water, the water will instantly start boiling.
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