Don't you find it sad that your life has become so destitute of actual meaning that it helplessly revolves around your children? Not only that, but you look towards your children to PROVIDE your life with meaning. Even your very livelihood centers on them as evidenced by this article and the countless others in a downward spiral of natalist centered monotonicity. The draining failure of your writing's attempted humor is only eclipsed by the emptiness of your own life. Please go out into the world and gain some real experiences that you can translate here and share with your poor children whom no doubt would rather an active and interesting dad than a parent reduced to a shell of a human being with no discernible stimulation beyond pop culture idiots and ADD inducing youth fodder.