I own one of those out-of-date, laughably obsolete cell phones that is two years old. When I purchased it, of course, it was the newest and greatest device available, and people would proudly point me out to their children and say: "I know that guy. See the phone he's talking on? Did you ever think I'd know somebody that important?" The children wouldn't believe such a boast, so I'd nod in their direction and their eyes would grow wide with amazement. The parents always gave me a gr ...

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