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As a man, I always expect to foot the entire bill if I ask a woman out. The land mine that I risk stepping on, however, is that the woman may get the idea that I expect "certain things" in return for a fully-funded evening. (I don't expect or feel entitled to anything in return.) To get around this problem, I try to have fairly brief, casual, low-cost first and second dates. Lunch at a casual dining restaurant, or a cup of coffee is ideal. Sometimes I even suggest just doing everyday things like grocery shopping! It's a great way to see what a woman is like "the rest of the time." If I am covering all date expenses but still not spending a whole lot, it's a win-win: she doesn't feel slighted or that I'm after something. She is less inclined to think I'm trying to get her into bed, than if I showered her with gifts and expensive meals. That can also signal desperation on the man's part if it comes too early, which is also unattractive. Once she gets to know me better and we've reached a point of honest communication, it's OK to go ahead and split the check, let her pay, continue to cover it all myself, whatever works for a couple.

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The guy who tells women they'll have to pay their way in advance should keep doing it - in fact, he's doing society a favor. One less idiot reproducing! The guideline is that the host pays. Since traditionally it was guys who asked women out, the guy was the host and therefore paid. That should relax as the relationship continues, but it works the same if a woman asks a guy out - she pays. What you're asking for is the pleasure of their company - nothing more and nothing less. Matt, I agree with you, btw.

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I can pay my own drinks and it's perfectly normal here (Denmark) for a dating couple to split the bill or take turns paying, and when invited out, I always offer to pay my share when the bill comes. But...if some guy invites me out and then informs me I'd have to pay half the bill. Well, it would probably take a while for me to stop laughing so that I could reply "Thanks, but no thanks." Such behaviour is just crude, rude, stingy and overall unappealing. If the options were between a date with this guy and a meal at a soup kitchen, I'd pick the soup kitchen any day - and pay for it. Also I would never dream of asking someone out and then ask him to pay his own way. It's like inviting your friends over for dinner and then charging them for the meal.

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Re: Maggie Lawrence--I agree with you completely. If a guy asked me out and then told me he expected me to pay, I'd decline politely. If I have to wait until a guy asks me out, then he can pay. But, if I were to ask somebody out myself, I'd expect to pay for everything, too. Reading stories like this makes me glad that those dating days are far behind me, and if something were to happen to my husband, heaven forbid, I don't think I'd even try to date again. I think I'd rather order a pizza and curl up with a good book or a movie (love Netflix on-line) and be happily alone than be with somebody like the LW.

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I love your new picture. You truly are the "Goddess."

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I wonder if LW1 realizes that his objective of "weeding women out" is just making sure that the only women who date him are so desperate that they will put up with anything. Then again, maybe that's the only kind who will date him anyway and this keeps a higher quality woman from slipping in.

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If someone invites me, that person pays. If I invite someone else, I pay. Being 'invited' to spend my money on the entertainment of the inviter's choice, isn't a priviledge, it's a slap in the face. He's weeding out all but very desperate masochists with that tactic. Nothing like being told up front that the person wants to get to know me better, but already thinks he knows that I'm shallow and money-grubbing. My response would be along the lines of, 'sure I'll go out to dinner this Friday............... with someone else who isn't hostile and condescending to women.' Anyone this selfish, cheap and entitled is not going to get better once you get to know him. He will always be a selfish controlling jerk with a chip on his shoulder who will be dividing meals, groceries, electricity bills, mortgage, and hospital bills down to the penny. 'I don't care if I make twice your salary, you still owe me half of the monthly bills.' soon to be followed by: 'What??!! Why should I pay any of the costsfor you to give birth to our baby?! YOU'RE the one who was pregnant!' and followed after that with "You better get back to work right away, because you owe me for all the money I spent on you while you were raising our kids.'