LW1: A sad situation. Disable the text feature on your cellphone plan, limit your contact with Rona, and keep the conversation about the baby when you do speak to her. LW2: Suggest to your relatives who overspend, that they make a donation to a charity instead - and feel free to suggest one that you support. (If it's tax-deductible, mention that.) Asking for a cash donation in lieu of a gift is tacky.

LW2 - Make it clear to your relatives and kids that all gifts are welcome, however, one or two will be chosen as "keepers" and the remainder will be donated on Christmas day to a homeless center that provides for families with kids. Then DO IT. You will either end this ridicules embarrassment of riches or, even better, start a wonderful and charitable new tradition.

Re: Matt_____ I think LW wants more contact with Rona, not less. I wonder why since she clearly dislikes the young woman. It is Rona who is limiting the contact, and she would probably be very happy that the LW disabled the texting function on her phone - less reason to get in touch with her. As for keeping the talk to baby topics, that might be precisely why Rona is not very much enamored with the baby's grandma. If the grandma talks only about the baby, it may make Rona feel like she is nothing but a womb for the LW's grandchild - not a good basis for a relationship. And how does LW know Rona calls her mother and sisters? Maybe she texts them too. LW is frustrated that Rona doesn't seem to have the same relationship with her and her daughter that she has with her own parents and sisters. What's so surprising in that? Many people feel a lot closer to their own families than to their in-laws. LW seems to be jealous of the relationship Rona has with her own mother. That's just odd. I am also perplexed by the sentence, "I have gone out of my way to get close to her, but everyone keeps saying she is not right for my son." Who's "everyone"? What business is it of "everyone" who LW's son is dating or living with? Why is LW listening to "everyone" at all? What does "everyone" have to do with her getting close - or not - with her son's girlfriend? I bet, LW has been witching about Rona to "everyone" in the past 5 years - how she doesn't call, how she is distant, how she doesn't want to go to her daughter's house (only to have a fight with the LW's son-in-law?), how Rona has gone to her parents for too many Christmases and Thanksgivings, how they are not married and having a baby - and it's all Rona's fault. If I were Rona, I'd stay away from such a pushy MIL as well.

For LW2- PLEASE DO NOT take the childrens toys from them and give them away. Even if there ARE a 100. Talk with the children, tell them about homeless or less fortunate children. Take them to see a shelter, and see if the kids will GIVE UP some toys, after they open them (depending on the age). To just take the gift that are for the children is just mean. Let the children in on the giving and explain WHY so it is their CHOICE. A thank you note should be sent to everyone for any gift. The child can also open gifts and thank the giver and then some of them can be put away for another day. My kids didn't have all of their toys at once. I would put some away and take out others. And then would take the old ones out and put the newer ones away after a few months. They always thought they had new stuff. Even regifting to another child and donate the money you would have spent on that item to one of a thousand organizations that need it, is another way to go.

Apart from the lying, Rona may be the type of person who doesn't like to talk on the phone. Personally, I only have a phone because it's a necessity. I hate to talk on the phone, to anybody, even my husband. It's not that I have an aversion or fear, it's that I can always think of something I'd rather be doing than have the receiver stuck to my ear. (I love Caller ID and answering machines.) Telling the LW to call Rona more often may cause Rona to use Caller ID and not answer. That's what I do when I see that somebody is calling me who tends to be long-winded and wants to bore me with mindless chit-chat. I really don't care what they've eaten all day or about all the errands they run. As a teen, I liked to talk on the phone like everybody else, but after working in several sales jobs that required me to be on the phone all the time, I no longer do.

I agree. Please don't take the toys away from the kids. LW1: I have been there done that as well. I was the hated daughter in law and I have relatives who act like Rona. When I was the hated dil, I just preferred to stay away from their toxicity. I had more important things to do with my life than be ridiculed and put down constantly. The LW should examine herself more thoroughly and fine goodness in the dil. My relatives who act like Rona, are another story. I just try to be nice to them and pray in turn they will come around, just love them and maybe things will be different someday.