I would advise the dad with the drop-off problem to change the way they handle changes between the parents. My kids were 4 and 7 when their dad and I divorced. Rather than putting them through the drop-off process, we used school and daycare as a way to swap off.

For example, if the kids were with their dad over the weekend, he kept them until Monday morning, when he dropped them off at school and daycare. At the end of the day, I would pick them up. This was much less stressful for all of us, since they didn't see both of us at once.

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