Posted by: Nadia
Comment: #1
Sun Jun 29, 2008 10:45 AM
Dear Susan, I couldn't disagree with you more in your response to Casey. I believe that what the gentleman was trying to convey in using the word "honest", is to be upfront in telling someone you don't want to date them, rather than sending mixed signals and leaving them hanging. From a woman's perspective, I couldn't agree with him more. There is no need to be honest to a fault, as you suggest. When someone asks you for a date and you're not interested, it doesn't take much to say, "Gee, I'm flattered, but no thankyou." Like Casey, I have been on the receiveing end of men who have sent mixed signals and done the "silent thing." Many men say they do this to prevent hurting the other person. Turning someone down, whether it be when asked for a date or well into a relationship is always going to hurt, nomatter how it is done. Sending mixed signals or hoping someone will get the hint by being silent, is in my opinion cowardly. It doesn't allow the other person to quickly move on. As Casey states, it leaves you wondering. It leaves you hanging. I for one, want to be told. Being truthful, in a diplomatic way about declining a date or ending a relationship is not "nastiness." It's being respectful of the other persons feelings. Some of the men I have turned down are still friends today. Honestly, if you don't have the "balls" to graciously decline a date or end a relationship because you fear dealing with the other person's feelings, how will you deal with the bigger issues that come in a relationship. No wonder the divorce rate is so high. Somewhere along the way, we have forgotten how to communicate in a decent way.
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Posted by: Jack Olds
Comment: #2
Thu Jun 26, 2008 2:08 PM
Susan Deitz, Honesty is better then vague replies when asking a woman out. Yes or No is all that is required. And yes sometimes men can't discern interest or disinterest on the other end of a phone line-that may be because women seek attention and send mixed signals-I don't know. Or maybe they're keeping their options open, or they got something else going on and want to see what happens. I think women always have a reason. Besides what's so wrong or hard in the dating world about just saying NO?
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