In international news, while the Balkans seem bent on separating into distinct countries, Belgium waffles.

Belgium, you see, is divided between two distinct ethnic groups: the Flemings (pronounced "phlegm-ings") and the Walloons, famous for their network of large shopping centers called "Walloon-marts." Sometimes, these groups think they'd be better off if they broke away from each other, while at other times they think they can make it work after a "time out&q ...

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