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What I don't see mentioned that he clearly alluded to was that this is part of a growing trend. Instead of it being the man who freaks out and wonders if this is all there is to life, it's getting to be the women doing this and I think it's seriously contributing to the skyrocketing divorce rates. Now that women are on a more level playing field and feel self-sufficient, they're facing the same pressures and questions that previously were viewed as a guy thing. However, men aren't inclined to share such feelings with other men, so they're not as likely to take such actions in packs. Instead, it would be the guy here and there who let midlife crisis drive him to drastic responses like a sports car or leaving for a younger women. Now that it's women, they seem to work each other up to build each other's courage to take the leap - leaving a lot more seemingly happy marriages in shambles. I don't think much has been studied regarding this matter, but I can attest to having seen this several times within a group of friends or co-workers. Maybe one has a bad marriage, but it gets others questioning and joining in on the perceived fun of living life as they did in their 20s, when they could focus more on themselves. It would help it you talked to some experts and addressed this larger issue more fully.

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In regards to Shell Shocked; He stated that he was a good husband, has a good job, not abusive, doesn't even drink or gamble. His wife obviousely has a good job but was probably still expected to not only do that job but then come home and do the June Cleaver responsibilties. Did he help around the house, did he help her, or did he go to his job work his hours then come home and hit the recliner tired from working all day, and patiently waited for his dinner to be served. This isn't the '50's anymore and as a women who just took this same major step(after 20 + years of marriage) in my life I have never been happier than when I left a year ago. To say he was shell shocked and had no idea says alot to what he also was probably not aware of what was going on in the household. And to tell you the truth, yes the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, it also is more serene and self rewarding. And no there was no other man, or going out every week end with the girls to party. Just a more calm and happy life. So before you jump to conclusions and feel too sorry for Shell Shocked you might want to think about the other side of the story. Signed, Been there done it, and now a much happier person

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Dear Annie's Mail box, The frustrated "Dear Shreveport" letter writer could have been written by me except it is my widowed 82 year mother who is enabling my no-good oldest brother financially in the form of "loans" to the tune of $60,000 and rising. Her savings have dwindled from over $28,000 to less than $8000 in a year. Your advice about not being able to do much about it is very true and a painful lesson to learn, unfortunately your response implies that the giver WILL eventually decide to stop. I ask what can anyone do or say if the giver doesn't stop and becomes completely self neglecting to the point of financial destruction? I have power of attorney over my Mom's finances and have had her tested for competency, which she passed with flying colors, but she continues to go against all my and two other siblings advice. Declaring incompetence would be futile given the circumstances. Her estate lawyer gives me no other viable options. Is there any hope or alternative than to sit by and watch this train wreck happen? Resigned to picking up the pieces in AZ

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"I would love to meet a man who was strong enough emotionally to embrace my ex-husband as you suggested. And I would love it if my ex found someone who would be friends with me." Yeah, good luck with that, lady. You'll need it if THOSE are your expectations. Funny how men who are put in this situation (asked to share their current love with some ex as 'friend') are regarded as "jealous" and emotionally weak...but when the shoe is on the other foot, the woman feels threatened and rightfully so. Interesting.

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"...my 42-year-old wife of 25 years..." If my math is correct, she was only 17 when they got married. I'd say it's very likely she's having a mid-life crisis.