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Re: Alisa Get your name legally changed. I was hung with a really awful name at birth. My parents named me after an old-maid aunt, and if I'd used the name, I'd probably be an old maid, too. I finally had it legally changed after I was past 50. It doesn't cost very much, and it's worth it.

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My grandson age 14 doesn't send thank you notes for gifts of any kind. When I sent him an e-mail to explain my feelings, his mother became irate. The e-mail was to her son and I agree that she should watch him, but she should have let him reply to this e-mail. Instead she got the whole family involved and in an uproar. I would have accepted an e-mail thank you except a personal handwritten mailed one is much more personal. My question is, are personal thank you notes out of style? My son has never been involved with the upbringing of this child and wouldn't know how to write a note either. My daughter makes sure I get a note from my grandchildren for every little thing, to the point of excess. She knows how important it is to me. I have made gifts smaller and smaller as time goes on without a proper response and the next one was larger as she broke down and sent a printed card signed by the grandson. Please tell me, if I am out of date and being petty. I need a second opinion. This child plans to be as professional. Thank you please

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I couldn't agree more with your reply to "Wife of Junior". I was named after my Dad and also my mom (her middle name is mine also) and I LOATHE it. I wish my parents had been both caring and clever enough to choose my own name for me. Everyone deserves their own identity and not being classified as someone's "mini me". It's not cute and we kids DON'T appreciate it. Additionally, don't name daughters feminized versions of the father's name, *especially* if it's a stupid invented name (Timothea? WTF?). Lazy people will just call you by the male nickname and that's a huge turn-off for a woman. For example if your name is Danielle and you get lazy people calling you "Dan" or "Danny". Ugh, no. That totally aggravates me. My name is not that long nad yet everyone calls me the male nickname even when I specifically tell them I don't like that.

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P.S. "Alisa" is not my real name. I never use my real name because I hate it that much.

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My husband's family has a tradition where the first born male of each generation is named for his grandfather. My husband chose to break a tradition that has been going on for over 10 generations because he didn't want his son to carry his grandfather's name. I didn't like it much because I thought the tradition was a wonderful thing, but went along with my husband because I knew how much it meant to him. My husband passed away when our son was only three years old and my son barely knew him. When my grandson was born, my son decided to honor his father by returning to the tradition and I couldn't be more pleased. My grandson carries the name of his grandfather and great-great-grandfather (who is still living) and uses his middle name. There are nicknames that could have been used for both my son and his son but no one does. Whenever anyone tried when my son was little, he would correct them and even spell his name for them. I'm almost certain that my grandson will do the same. What all of the above boils down to is that your name is what you make of it. If you don't like nicknames, let people know and keep letting them know until they catch on. And sometimes it's not a matter of "ego", it's a matter of honor and pride.

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Bad advice for the woman with the smoking in-laws. These people should not be given a second chance. Not only did they blatantly disrespect their hosts wishes but the seem to have destroyed their property as well. Burn marks on the dresser and ashes on the floor? How about not burning down the house? Have them stay in a hotel. No reason for a second chance for ill mannered destructive people.

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Why would you give the in-laws a second chance, ladies? They disrespected her home the first time they were there. It isn't as if they forgot they were not supposed to smoke in there. And, even if they were going to be sneaky about it, why would you toss cigarette butts on the carpet and put burn marks on the dresser? That sounds like some anger or mental health issues to me. The fact that they were being destructive about it seems like a pretty clear-cut way of telling her what they think of her rules. As my stepmother used to tell me when I was growing up "Got me once? Shame on you. Got me twice? Shame on me." If she lets these people sleep in her home again, she's really bringing whatever they do this time on herself. I'd tell them they can sleep in a hotel and why.

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LW1--your daughter needs to get a complete physical and insist her thyroid levels be tested. Hypothyroidism symptoms are similar to so many other things and when you're hypothyroid it impacts your ability to lose weight no matter how well you eat and how much you exercise. There may also be something else physically wrong and at the very least, she can eliminate a physical cause. LW2--were the in-laws invited? Or did they invite themselves? Either way, they should stay elsewhere if they can't follow the no smoking in the house rule.