Annie's Mailbox®, May 15
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: I have been dating "Siena" for five months and I care deeply about her, but she has an ex-husband, "Kevin," and they are close. He has a key to her house and comes and goes when he wants. Siena cannot have a conversation without mentioning him. Both of them talk quite openly about special moments in their marriage. It's difficult to listen to.
Siena is in the process of fixing up a house she recently bought. Kevin has been involved since the beginning, a ...
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4 Comments | Post Comment
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Posted by: BB
Comment: #1
Thu May 15, 2008 5:11 PM
Whether Siena still loves her ex or not, she is very comfortable having him around. If they have children, this is great. What isn't so great is that he is around even when Siena is with her new boyfriend. Unless the boyfriend wants the ex around all the time for the rest of his life, he should give this relationship a 6 month rest and let Siena get over her divorce. Maybe she is using her ex as a free handyman. If that's the case, I'd drop her immediately because she is not honest.
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Posted by: Datura
Comment: #2
Thu May 15, 2008 5:59 AM
I disagree with your advice here. There doesn't have to be something outwardly romantic going on for a situation to be inappropriate - though personally I think talking about the special moments in your marriage is bordering on romance. The person who should be set up with some eligible females is the letter writer. He may care deeply for Siena and she may care deeply for him. However, if he stays with her, he can look forward to being the third wheel. He'll probably also be wondering when it is Siena and Kevin will make another go at being married again, since obviously neither of them were ready to let go.
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Posted by: Kaca
Comment: #3
Thu May 15, 2008 6:46 AM
I cant believe someone would give such an advice, formally or not the woman is clearly still married and the ONLY thing the letter writer can do if he wants to spare himself more heartache and humiliation is to ditch her and find a woman who is really available.
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Posted by: Lynda
Comment: #4
Thu May 15, 2008 7:50 AM
I find it very difficult to understand why you would even consider giving such bad advice. Obviously Siena still has feelings for her ex-husband, and he feels the same about her. The current boyfriend should tell Siena that she must choose which guy she wants. If she makes any excuse for keeping Kevin in her life, the relationship with her new boyfriend will do nothing but deteriorate. He would do better by cutting off the relationship, keeping his distance from her (permanently), and finding someone who wants a one-on-one relationship.
Lynda
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