Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for three years. It's a second marriage for both of us. The other day, I was working on a photo wall collage and ran across some pictures I'm sure I was not supposed to see. They are snaps of my husband's old girlfriends (between marriages). Some were nude photos. There also were copies of old e-mails and love notes.
I know my husband dated several women before he married me. He even lived with one of them for a few years. We are both &quo ...
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Posted by: Janet DePasqual
Comment: #1
Thu Apr 17, 2008 5:14 AM
Husband is entitled to his mememtos! Nude pictures? Pictures period--you two must be kidding!
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Posted by: Abby Schueller
Comment: #2
Thu Apr 17, 2008 7:12 AM
This is in response to "Not Feeling so photogenic" whose husband had a stash of old letters and pictures of old girlfriends. I was in a similar situation with my now husband whom I dated for 5 years before we were married. Before we started dating I knew he had had his share of flings but I realized that was in the past. He also had a drawer that was full of notes and pictures and numbers of women he had dated or even women who just gave him there phone number. I let it go for 3 years until we had bought our 2nd home together. While I was unpacking, I put all of those things in the same drawer they had always been in. I told him it has been over 3 years since we had been together and if he still felt the need to hold onto those things that I would be fine with it, but it would let me know how he felt about me. He had forgotten that those things even exsisted and he got rid of them a few days later. I made me feel better and it was not skin off his back.
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Posted by: Teresa Webber
Comment: #3
Wed Apr 16, 2008 3:44 PM
Dear Annie,
This is in response to A Concerned Neighbor, who was worried about her depressed neighbor after losing his wife a year ago. Why not invite him over to her & her husbands house for dinner? Or, get together with other neighbors & invite him to a barbeque or a game of gin rummy. It sounds to me as though this poor soul is depressed to the hilt & probaly racked with loneliness & though I agree that picking up groceries for him is a very nice offer, it probaly will do little for the depression & loneliness. This man needs interaction with people, conversations & laughter. I commend this lady for her concern for his welfare. I can't imagine the pain of being all alone with no friends or family.
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Posted by: vicki
Comment: #4
Wed Apr 16, 2008 5:03 AM
About the man who is bothered by noises, it sounds like he has something called Sensory Defensiveness or Sensory Integration Dysfunction. It is awful to have it and I hope he will pursue treatment for it, which includes Occupational Therapy and something called Crossinology, both of which I have done. It has also helped me to take a protein isolate supplement by Pure Nutrition.
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Posted by: Kitty
Comment: #5
Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:37 PM
I strongly disagree with your response to "Not Feeling Photogenic" who found nude pics and old love letters from her husband's past girlfriends. You stated that he is entitled to his "mementos". He is MARRIED now and I think it is inappropriate to hang on to such intimate items and it is hard to imagine a current wife who would not be terribly hurt by these. He has his past and his memories, but these "mememtos" need to go.
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Posted by: KPW
Comment: #6
Wed Apr 16, 2008 6:50 AM
Delete the pictures. If asked where the pictures are say that you thought it was spam so you got rid of it. Hiding naked pictures of old girlfriends is creapy and I am sure these women would not like to have thier naked pictures out there. Good luck and don't pose for naked pictures.
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Posted by: Patty
Comment: #7
Wed Apr 16, 2008 8:11 PM
In response to your advice given to the married woman who found naked pics and love letters of previous girlfriends I cannot help wondering if Kathy and Marcy have gone on vacation and left some man to take over. Are you kidding?? This woman should confront her husband and DEMAND he throw out these items in her presence. You gave her terrible advice. What other reason would he keep these unless he was fantasing about them. Toss them yourself if he refuses, you are his wife, not the cleaning lady.
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