Annie's Mailbox®, April 13
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: For the last 18 months, my sister's two young daughters have been living with my mother. My sister has a history of alcohol and drug abuse, and though she cleaned up and was a good parent for many years, she fell apart during her divorce from the girls' father and has gone back to abusing. My entire family suspects she also has undiagnosed mental health issues. The girls' father suffers from depression and shows no interest in being a full-time parent.
My mother is 71 years ...
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Posted by: fft5305
Comment: #1
Mon Apr 14, 2008 10:59 AM
LW2 may have a few other options. 1) Is it possible, just this once, that her sister can visit on another weekend? 2) Depending on where this wedding takes place (locally or out of town), she could leave her sister at home for the whole 2 hours it would take to make a brief appearance at the wedding and reception. 3) It may seem like heresy, but they could skip this one visit if there are no other options. Hopefully, the wedding will be a one-time event and they visit a few times a year with the family.
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Posted by: BB
Comment: #2
Sun Apr 13, 2008 9:11 AM
If I were this woman and her siblings, I would be very concerned about having my mother live in the circumstances she is in. She is at a high risk for being trapped in that apartment in case of a fire. She has no shower or tub. I know you can keep clean in that sort of circumstance because we used to use a sink and do a sponge bath everyday when I was a kid, but we did have a bath on Saturday. I've even done it as an adult when the pump went out on our well.
I am assuming she has access to a toilet in the commercial area. She has to go up and down stairs which can be tiring on someone of her age. She has to go out to do her laundry. I had relatives who did their laundry in the tub (it's along story, nothing to do with finances) for over 20 years, but a sink is just too small.
Grandmother should be commended for doing what she is doing for her grandkids. From everything I have read, they are far better with someone who loves them and can provide for their physical and emotional needs than to go into foster care. There is an environmental and genetic connection to depression, so I hope they can get some psychological help before they get into trouble themselves with depression.
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