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Dear Annie: I think that you are WAY off on this one. Lonely's wife's relationship with her parents IS her business. He knew about his wife's devotion to her parents before he married her. His wife may have found peace and joy in her adult relationship with her parents. On the other hand, perhaps she was and is being controlled by her parents. Perhaps that is why he was attracted to her in the first place - because she acquiesced to him just like she did to her parents, only now she is torn between the two opposing demands on her time and attention. Pleading is NOT sexy. He needs to back off. He can take classes, exercise, volunteer or visit friends. He can also decide that he and his wife do not share the same values and views of marraige and that they are incompatable. What he has NO right to do is harass her or demand that she change her values or choices. This is controlling behavior. I imagine that once lonely learns to enjoy his own company and make social plans without relying on someone else, he may become much more attractive. If his wife does have scars from childhood abuse, she needs to know that her husband loves her unconditionally and knows that she can make good decisions about her own time without pleading or other manipulations from him. The strength that she gains from his support will help her stand up to her parents if she needs to do so. Shopping around for a therapist that agrees with him and insisting that she is weak or wrong may simply keep her as the weak little girl that Lonely has always perceived her to be. Of course, that may work for Lonely. He can be the hero and "save" her from her parents - and then be the one who controls her (or as he would see it, love her, help her. protect her, and do what is best for her- no matter what she thinks).