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I was so amazed when I read this article. I have been the target of this before. I could not understand for the first half of the arguement what I had done or what my boyfriend could possibly have found. Finally I was able to get him to tell me what he thought I already knew. I had to take him back into my email and show him how the spam worked. The mother in law needs to drop this and never visit it again. This left quite a mark on my relationship and left my boyfriend quite embarrassed. She should concentrate on her grandchild and daughter when talking to her son in law.

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I get spam often with sbbject lines that read 'Re:your letter' from sites I've never been to. Dating sites included, and I've never used one. I also get many chances to Make Millions, increase my erection! (female here) and asking if my cell phone (don't have one) needs updating,have my breasts enlarged..invest in real extate..... MIL needs to learn how to stay out of others' mail boxes and butt out. If he DOES get angry it may well be about her getting into his inbox and jumping to conclusions, not because he has something to hide. I'd be torqued off if my mom had done something like that and made such an assumption about my husband. (Had she ever known how to use a computer) Although there was the time she asked, "Aren't you worried about him spending so much time with'G'?" I had to laugh at that, "No, he's not her type. She's a lesbian Mom." If she'd voiced it as an accusation against him rather than quiet concern I've have been pissy and told her MYOB. When we told the friend what mom had said her reactions were !!!EWWWW! and !!HAHAHAHA!!! I've occasionally accidently accessed another's mail over the years, but hit the sign out right away when it's happened. If she's computer savvy enough to have her own accounts she should be savvy enough to know spam comes in all sorts of forms and write it off as such and not cause trouble, or she may not be seeing as much of that lovely grandchild as she'd like.

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First- why on earth did she sign it "Distraught Mother In Law"??? If she's distraught over her daughter's deteriorating marriage, shouldn't she be a "distraught mother"? This is not her son- she shouldn't approach him. He'll feel violated regardless of how she explains herself. Her daughter, who knows her better- who would know whether or not her mom is a snoop and troublemaker- should be the one confronted WITH the disclaimer stating that she's not sure exactly what she stumbled upon, but it definitely needs looking into. If nothing is amiss, he needs to be aware that he's leaving his email address at sites that spam people. She should say something if for no other reason- what if there IS something going on? Wouldn't she kick herself down the road if she didn't say something and her daughter contracted an STD from one of her husband's dalliances? Not to mention, most women I know (myself included) don't care about sex very much for several months after a baby is born, maybe he's "fishing"..... You never know what people are capable of, look at Scott Peterson.

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Annie, Your advice to the “Distraught MIL” is thoughtless. It could possibly wreak havoc a perfect marriage through destroying the relationship between the SIL and MIL, and putting the daughter in between. “I didn't mean to snoop”, oh, pleaseeee! Since when can you reach the inbox on somebody else's computer without doing something first? With tons spasm flying all over the internet, why do you advise her to talk to her SIL over just one subject line? Even if you don't believe her word “I didn't open the email”, this is not something MIL should mud herself in through snooping. For God's sake, this is just a spam from third party, the dating service. Spams I received include first person reply-emails that I never initiated. Please tell “Distraught MIL” keeping this incident to herself and never snoop again.

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I get these "replies" all the time. Never been to a dating site, never will...it's all phishing. I think she should assume that's what happened here and forget it. I think someone with something to hide would be a lot more careful about leaving his inbox open.

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Distressed M-I-L should also be honest with her Son-in-law and with herself. Do NOT start any discussion she may have with "I didn't mean to snoop." Please.

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To Distraught Mother In Law, I get email from dating services all the time and have never even been to one of their sites. Please do not say anything to your son in law or your daughter - you shouldn't even if you were certain something was going on.

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I wonder if the letter writer realizes that emails from sights like this are often spam. Currently, in my email box, I have messages with such texts as "I saw your picture" (I have no picture of myself online), "Remember me?" (who?) or "I read your profile. Can we talk?". I am happily married and don't have a dating profile anywhere. Yet, I get at least five junk emails a day suggesting otherwise. I certainly hope the letter writer has checked to make sure this is an actual solicited email before jumping to conclusions.

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I am so glad to see all of these replies to this letter! I was shocked when I read that this woman "didn't mean to snoop" when she just went to an inbox on someone else's computer and thought it would be her own! Lots of spam works so that it looks like a reply and I doubt if the SIL would seriously leave things like that open if he were trying to pick up other women.

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Re: Jennifer I can assure you that I (female) have never been to a site that advertised male enhancement. Some of these sites make up all sorts of possible email addresses and send out thousands at a time. Sometimes one of them is yours. Other spammers have a way to steal email addresses from other web sites. Once in a very great while, I'll get an email advertising "hot girls," once with video. I have to block spam addresses everyday. My Yahoo! email account puts all bulk email (mostly spam that they've already been warned about) into a bulk mail folder I can access if I want or just dump. Also has a spam key I can click so I won't receive email from the same exact address again; however, spammers also have many email addresses, so if you block one from xxx/@spam.com, they are likely to have a mailing from xx@spams.com the same day.

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Re: Courtney Still laughing, Annie needs to learn more about spam. It is frequwnt trick to add re in subject line. I get emails for viagra and organ enlargement, my husband gets breast enlargemwnt spam.