Annie's Mailbox®, March 4
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: Several months ago, I came home from work to find that my mother had taken her things and moved out of our house. She served my father with divorce papers and told my sister and me that we should never contact her again because we were selfish and "took" from her, and that she failed in raising us. I was devastated and livid at the same time. I have not had contact with Mom since.
I've always done as much as possible for her and even agreed with her when she was w ...
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Posted by: BB
Comment: #1
Tue Mar 4, 2008 10:00 AM
This is for the person who was sickened by talk of bodily conditions at the next table. I realize that it is rude and disgusting to make an entire restaurant sick by making them listen to your personal medical details, but the urge to talk about these things when in a group of close friends is almost overwhelming.
My husband found it sickening to listen to people at our own table go on about this sort of thing, but when we reached our 60s, we found that we shared symptoms and treatments and talking about them was a relief and made it easier to laugh about what we were going through. We'll be even more careful about doing it when there is a table that close to us.
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Posted by: paula
Comment: #2
Tue Mar 4, 2008 7:56 AM
Dear Annie, I read the letter from "Abandoned and Angry" , the child whose mother had been behaving abnormally for months and had moved out and filed divorce papers and told the children that she never wanted to see them because they were selfish. The sister had visited the mother in her apartment and found no food in her pantry and that she was not taking her medication. I thought your advice to try to involve the father and extended family members was okay as far as it went but disagree that the child could not force the mother to get medical treatment. While not an ideal solution and only as a last resort type of thing, my state , as I am sure most states do, has an "involuntary treatment" statute which says that an "interested person" such as a parent or adult child can file a petition with a court asking for a court order that a person be involuntarily treated . The statute requires that the petitioner show by clear and convincing evidence (a high legal standard) that the person is a danger to him/herself or others. There might be such a showing where someone is not able to properly care for themselves and is not eating or taking prescribed medications. The court has the power to order a mental health examination of the person to determine if they suffer from a mental illness and if so, can order treatment. There are a lot of drawbacks with this sort of legal proceeding but Abandoned should check out what the procedure and requirements are in his or her state. Sometimes the threat of such a proceeding can get someone to seek treatment. Also, in this case if Mom truly cannot take care of herself or be financially responsible, a guardian could be appointed (a separate court proceeding) or the father might get a court to put some strings on the receipt of alimony in the divorce case. I might add that there are some medical conditions such as thyroid disorders that are linked to depression and such conditions should be ruled out.
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