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My money is on the man as a control freak and potential abuser

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Dear Annie, I totally disagree with your response to "Need a Good Laugh," whose husband is hyper-sensive to certqain noises. Since having two tympanoplastic (ear drum) surgeries in the 1980's in the US, I have lived the same problem. Each of my ear durms feels slightly different pressure, one ear being better audible than the other. This awkward feeling sometimes drives me crazy when I encounter certain noises, such as laughter and wind sounds. The worst is that when even a single dropof water gets into my ear, my head spins like a top. So I never go near the waters and very careful when I take a shower. I never allow my children to open the car windows without my prior permission. They must turn off the TV when I say so. I feel really sorry for doing that, but I cannot help it. Doctors are no help, either. They cannot do anything about this problem. Wearing earplugs is not a good option, because earplugs will build up heat around ear drums, cuasing even worse feelings and behavior. Screaming is a quite normal behavior, I have to admit. His family should try to understand his erratic but normal behavor and compromise what they can do or cannot do, when he is present, to live in harmony. from Korea

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This guy reminds me of my ex-husband, who suffered from Bi-Polar Disorder. The tell-tale signs that jumped out at me in her letter were: - His hypersensitivity to "certain noises", though clearly not to his own screaming! That over-sensitivity is a way of being the center of attention -- and forces people to pay attention to him, not the TV or crunchy snacks or anything else. My ex used to do this, too. He was completely insensitive to how loud his own voice or activities were, but when they came from other people, it was all just too much -- an example of self-absorbtion. - "Today, he screamed at the top of his lungs at my 8-year-old son because the boy was watching his favorite TV show. The scream was horrific and angry and made us all jump." This says to me that he expects the world to conform to his wishes/whims, and it's everyone's fault but his when he's uncomfortable, plus his reactions are completely out of scale with the infraction, perceived or real. - "He's usually in another room, but still will be really upset knowing we're watching those shows. He thinks doing this makes us 'bad people' who do not think of others." This stands out to me as the irrational behavior that is often part of mania or hypo-mania associated with bi-polar disorders. Being irrationally judgemental of others (and never himself) about unimportant things is classic hypomania in my experience. - His wife says, "I am beginning to think this might be a control thing." I think that she knows him better than anyone and that she's probably right. - "He is on long-term depression medication." People with Bi-Polar Disorder, especially Type II, are often mis-diagnosed and treated only for depression. The anti-depressants can actually trigger mania in the form of anxiety and irrational behavior (not what many people think of as "mania") in people with Bi-Polar Disorder. Best of luck to this lady. I myself hit the wall with this behavior after 12 years (including 4 years after correct diagnosis and ongoing treatment didn't sufficiently correct the behavioral issues). It is wonderful not to be tip-toeing through life any more.

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The man with supersensitive hearing needs to see a ear, nose, and throat specialist and have a very complete hearing exam - if he can tolerate the beeps during the exam. He may have a physical problem with his ears or how his brain interprets sounds. He should give his family a break and let them watch TV with a laugh track by taking himself into the room farthest from the TV and doing something else. They can hook up headsets so they can watch TV without the sound leaking out so he can hear a whisper of it. I don't know if sound dampening headphones could help him out, too. He could try wearing them to see if he can tolerate them. And, his family needs to be tolerant of his needs and find something else they can do together such as play board games when they are together.

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For the woman whose husband screamed about tv noise (and wasn't his scream loud?) another alternative is closed captioning, available on all newer tv sets. The 8 year old boy can use them also. There certainly ought to be check-ups.

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For the woman whose husband screamed about the noise on tv (and wasn't the scream loud too?) another alternative is closed captioning, available on all newer tv sets. The 8 year old boy can use it too. And there certainly ought to be some check-ups for the husband.

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This man needs a lot more than medicine for "depression" - he's a control freak and mentally unstable. How is it he can't abide noise but can scream "horrifically" at an 8 yr old kid? The wife and kids should get out before he kills one of them.

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Hmmm, he is sensitive to certain noises but can "scream at the top of his lungs"? And is still "really upset knowing we're watching those shows" even though he is in another room? This has control freak and abuser written all over it.

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The guy sounds like he might have asperger's syndrome.

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Dear Annie, In response to the person who delivers newspapers, received tips and wanted to know if they should send a thank-you; write your thank you at home and when you get to the person's house who gave you the tip, insert the thank you in the middle of the paper. Or write a "Thank you for the tip. I really appreciate it" on the top margin of the front page.

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wyy

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Dear Annie, This is the first time I felt compelled to write about a column. This is regarding the man who had outbursts and claimed he did not want laughter or noise. My ex fiance explosive anger disorder and this is a potentially dangerous situation. No woman should have to walk on eggshells and jump when this man goes out of control. This can only get worse. It is not an ear problem only. It is severe abuse and can be deadly. This can escalate and no amount of earphones and rational discussions will work. If the man does not want to change his behavior, the woman must think of her child and leave right away. Abuse can take many forms and no matter what the cause, it has the same ending. Unhappiness and danger. Tell her to get help or get out. Thank you.