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The writer of the second letter (the unhappy bride) is an ungrateful brat. She presumes to know how much her "well-off" sister should have spent on a wedding gift, when she has absolutely no ideas as to the particulars of her sister's finances. And as if such knowledge would in turn, entitle one to this gift instead of that one! I also was amused that she is "not religious" compared to her sister; this is actually part of the writer's problem even though she doesn't realize it. If this spoiled girl had some of that old-fashioned "religion," she might have a much more mature perspective on this situation. The columnists responded appropriately ("say thank you and nothing more"), though I probably would have let the writer have it with both barrels. I feel sorry for her new husband; he is in for a rough and turbulent ride in the years ahead. I'm so glad my girlfriend isn't materialistic and foolish, like this selfish & greedy young lady clearly is.

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The wife of the rejected husband really should let her husband decide what to do about his relationship with his parents. Parents can be cruel and uncaring yet expect to be taken care of. Only he can decide how much more he needs to put up with. He can refuse to go over to help when his brother is around. He can respond to his brother's rant with: What's wrong with you? or Sorry you feel that way or just smile. He can leave the house when the abuse starts without having to explain himself. Or he can say, continue that and you can take over this job. The wife seems to be the one who feels hurt and rejected. I can just see her offering his parents a place in their home or offering to take care of them when they can no longer fend for themselves. All she and her husband need to offer is financial aid if they need to go into a nursing home - and aid only up to what they can reasonably afford. You cannot buy your parents' love and esteem by doing things for them. You cannot earn your brother's respect by helping out and taking his abuse. Even if the parents are richer than rich, nothing makes having to take this sort of treatment worth it. Better to give up and speak up. I can't tell if the husband comes home after helping his parents and unloads all his frustration by telling his wife what happened. She should just listen, be supportive, and tell him SHE loves and appreciates him and what he does for his parents. She should not get into the "honey, they are so mean to you" discussion. She cannot solve his problem. Usually it's the wife who tells her husband of her frustrating day and he tries to solve her problem when all she wants to do is vent. She should tell him she's behind him 100% no matter what he decides to do.

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Your response to "Bob's wife" whose husband had been mistreated by his family for 50 years only sets them both up for more rejection and hurt. You suggest that in their old age the abusive parents might be more receptive to hearing his hurts and that the wife and the mistreated son should approach them about counseling. First of all, while the wife has experienced pain, this is between her husband and his family. Second, the chances of people wanting to change at this juncture are slim to none. Telling him to approach them sets him up for more rejection and ridicule. Bob has already stated "he wants nothing more to do with them". That needs to be respected. He's had enough. Sounds like Bob is finding a backbone and self esteem he perhaps has never had. It's time he makes decisions about this relationship that make him feel empowered. If they truly miss him, they will ask why he has cut off contact . If they don't or only want his "help", he will have his answer about their "receptivity" to his feelings without risking any more of his emotional well being.

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Everyone is assuming the Doctor told his family about the childs drug use - he seems to be getting hit all the time. It could also very well be that the child was seen smoking and the gossip in school caught her out. In fact this is a more probable scenario given that teens gossip like wildfire and Doctors are taught early on to keep their mouth shut at all times to avoid scenarios like this one.