I'm surprised the LW allowed her husband to "go out with a bang" before dropping his bad habits - porn, or drinking. What a stupid idea that was - and look where it led. I actually think she's the responsible party here. If she had been thinking clearly, she wouldn't have allowed a person who's prone to temptations to put himself in those situations to start with. What did she think was going to happen in a motel room between a drunk man and a stripper- just a dance?How naive can you be?

She needs to be tested immediately!!!!! And, then, again later when her doctor suggests. This could escalate into a whole new ballgame. They both need counseling, (especially because of the drinking to keep it at bay, there is no guarantee that he won't fall off the wagon after all of this) and since she was stupid enough to agree to the arrangement, she needs to let go, if he remains faithful and trustworthy.

Desperately Sad is desperately stupid. That sleaze she's married to must feel like he's hit the jackpot, with a wife insecure and dumb enough to agree to this bit of nastiness. I have utterly no sympathy for a woman that silly.

I have mixed feelings for Desperately sad. I feel bad that she is hurt but it was a really bad idea to give him the green light to put himself in a position where he could easily go too far. She also said they had agreed on three things he could do and he did agree to follow the rules so he isn't innocent in this mess either. I think they are both in the wrong on this and I think they both need some counseling. I hope they are able to resolve this and move on.

Both of these letters make me sick! What kind of life are these two married couples living? I cannot believe the lack of respect in both marriages! Neither husband has any respect for their wives and both are taking as much advantage as they can. Grow up and leave the bums! Run far and fast! If there is no repect in a marriage then there can be no love. So respect yourself enough to put a stop to both messes by leaving their perverted men asap!
LW1...Are you crazy? Of course something happened! This mess is partly your own doing. So gather your things and get to a therapist so you discover why you would put your husband, who is already making bad choices, in a position where he could mess up easily. You bear the blame as well as your despicable husband!

LW1:I hope you got both got tested, as someone advised. And I really hope you were able to work past the imagery and were able to re-establish your partnership, since I think you were as much to blame as he was. It sounds like he learned the tough way that what we fantasize about often carries real-life consequences that ultimately make the fantasy unappealing. In your shoes, I'd be concentrating on his sobriety, as Margo advised, and also on the fact that he was truthful and remorseful enough that he is ashamed and no longer interested in even milder versions of forbidden fruit (i.e., porn, strip clubs). It was a tough lesson for both of you.