Dear Margo,
I can't help but think of "Sleeping in the bathtub" regarding the poor woman who has a 400 sq. foot apartment with people coming to visit! Tell her that if they want to still stop by and stay, that's fine, because SHE will check HERSELF into a nice bed and breakfast and then join them for their visit after she has had a good nights sleep!
I speak from experience!

I think Margo can be sometimes naïve. Smart girls who don't NEED a guy to feel complete often don't get second dates. A guy who has an expectation of a "dumb blonde" is not going to be interested in a second or third date with a woman who will not look at him adoringly while he prattles on about himself, will have intelligent opinions of her own, will know what she wants in life, and will not act like "landing a man" is her ultimate goal in life. I speak from experience, although not a personal one. I have a friend - one of the smartest and most beautiful women I know. She has not had good luck with men. It's amazing how many men resented her being more accomplished then them, making more money than them, having travelled and read more than them, etc. No, she did not shove her accomplishments in their faces. She just wouldn't act like "the little woman" they expected.

LW1 need not get discouraged, though. There are men out there who are not looking for "dumb blondes" (irrespective of their actual hair color). She appears to be still quite young (she sounds like she is a college student in her late teens/early twenties), and she has a lot of time to meet the man who will appreciate her intellect as well as her looks.

I don't have a lot to go one here, but my guess on why LW1 can't kep her dates interested based on the tone of her letter? She makes sure they get to hear her talk about how great she is. Perhaps Margo was gently hinting at this when she told her to listen, maybe not (sounds like her male pal may have tried to send her a gentle hint as well), but it seems to me that her tone suggests she spends the majority of the date showing how wonderful she is, then wonders why they have no interest in talking to her again. They don't need to hear how intellegent and caring and gorgeous she is, if they have similar interests and compatible personalities, they'll notice on their own. Men LIKE intellegence. They hate pretentiousness.

Re: Nichole

Yeah, I think a lot of guys (not all, by far) prefer to spend the first couple of dates talking about themselves, not hearing what the woman has to say about herself. :-)

Who *doesn't* spend the majority of first dates trying to show how wonderful they are? Isn't that what first dates are all about - to show how wonderful you are so that the other guy/gal would want to have another date with you? Of course, what we show depends on what we think is wonderful and would be desirable. I mean, I would't wear frumpy sweats and no make up or make dumb remarks during the first date just to avoid showing how gorgeous and smart I am (well, I am being a bit immodest here). In fact, I'd probably put on the most flattering outfit I have and try to present my best side to the date. What's wrong with that?

Ariana- There's nothing wrong with *showing* how wonderful you are and putting your best face forward, but good social skills require learning where the line is between showing your best qualities and bragging about how fabulous you are and carrying on a conversation where you both talk *and* listen. The fact that LW1 gets past the first date at all suggests that it's not necessarily the guys she chooses (which sounds like your friend's problem) or some superficial, noticeable but easily fixed issue (her dye job is bad, she's a messy eater), it's that it gets old to hear someone toot their own horn. I stand by my statement: if you're really that great and you and the person you're out with are more or less compatible, he'll notice without the three night long resume. You'll notice that the women who have man after man hopelessly devoted to her, including those who are very average looking, have no idea what they did to get all that attention. Ugh. ;)

I agree with both Margo and Nichole. No one wants to hang out with people of either sex who are constantly tooting their own horn. I have a further suggestion, though: is this girl a bore? I'm in college to, taking subjects that fascinate me, but does anyone outside my classes *really* care about the life cycles of pests and what insecticide or bio control works best? I don't think so. Thankfully my husband and I have many things in common and after a few minutes of "Anoplophora" this and "Imaclorpid" that we settle down to talk of other things. I have friends and classmates to talk bugs with. If LW1 does talk endlessly about subjects that aren't of interest to her dates then maybe she should start dating men from her classes who are just as excited about it as she is.