Missing the boat here Margo. It's stated right in her letter that she had an affair with this girl's father and broke up the family. At 8 years old, the girl is old enough to have picked up on EXACTLY what happened here without her mother saying a word. I bet Daddy Dearest did a lot of texting, exposing this girl to the affair. Children are children, but they aren't stupid. Girls especially are quite observant.

Affair partners always think that once they decimate everyone else's lives that all those people will just forgive and forget. Not going to happen. One of the consequences of affairs is that children never feel the same about that parent. Been there, done that. This girl will never have the relationship she would have had if her father had been a real man.

It's possible that the new wife wasn't around when daddy left mommy. It isn't unusual for a child to hate the step-parent, even if that person comes in after the divorce. They pray that their parents will get back together and when one marries, that hope is gone. However, if this woman was in a romance with a man before his divorce was final, she needs to take some blame. People who are divorcing need to feel all the anguish and discomfort that goes with going through this. Then, they need some time afterwards to get their life in order, keep in contact with their kids, and learn how to live on their own. When someone rushes in to pad those feelings, no growth occurs and you are left with a husband who tells you to be more "fun." Dad should be providing the fun with lots of one-on-one time with his daughter. I've been there, too.

I agree with Comment #1, why isn't DAD doing things with his daughter, such as "family trip" to the movies, visit a zoo, hike in the fall leaves, etc. Why is it up to the stepmother to make things "fun" for this angry 8-year-old? As time goes by, it's to be hoped that the child will begin to understand that people do make mistakes, but her dad divorced her mother, not her too.

Uh... K, where did LW1 say that she had an affair with Daddy? She said that was what the child's mother convinced the daughter had happened. " Or so the child has been convinced by her mother."


Honestly, LW's husband is more a problem than the kid. It's HIS daughter. HE needs to step up to the plate and deal with the child - and the trash that ex-wife seems to be filling the kid's head with.

LW1: If I were that 8-year-old, I'd hate her too. She needs more time with her father and less time with the woman who broke up her parents' marriage and now is forcing herself in this child's life. Assuming that's what happened. LW1 doesn't deny it. Can she really not imagine why the girl thinks she ruined her life? Even if that's a simplistic or unfair way of looking at it, tough. Blaming the girl's mother isn't going to endear her to the girl either.

LW1: If I were that 8-year-old, I'd hate her too. She needs more time with her father and less time with the woman who broke up her parents' marriage and now is forcing herself in this child's life. Assuming that's what happened. LW1 doesn't deny it. Can she really not imagine why the girl thinks she ruined her life? Even if that's a simplistic or unfair way of looking at it, tough. Blaming the girl's mother isn't going to endear her to the girl either.