I really don't know how to describe the kind of relationship I had with let's just call him "Red" and my story is really as complicated as it get's. But I really need to talk to someone about it because I feel like I'm falling apart.
I was involved with Red for about a year. He worked at our family restraunt, so my Dad was his boss. My parent's both know him very well because he is also best friends with my second cousin. Anyways, he worked there for around four years which is an extremely long time (well to me at least.) Red had a really rough past and was taken out of his home by the government when he was a child. So when he graduated from high school he came to work at the restraunt. My Mom and Dad both heard about his story and tried to help him out. He had a free ride to college, a scholarship and everything and taking that would also give him free health insurance (which would of been extremely good for him sense he was living on his own all through out high school) but he didn't want to go. My parents tried their very best to convince him to take the offer but he just wouldn't budge. So my Dad decided to let him live in one of the houses that he rents out to people for a cheep cost.
All of that happened a few years back when I was around twelve years old. I remember hearing my parents talk about what a shame it was; how he had all the opportunity in the world but he decided to take a different path. I have no idea why but I would interupt my parents and speak in his defense "at least he has a job... you can't judge him on one decision." I would say all kinds of things like that and looking back on it now I still don't know why. I had only seen him around a few times here and there; and hell I didn't even know him non the less speak even one word to him. But there I was... taking his side of the situation.
Well it came to turn out that not listenting to my parents words of wisdom wasn't the only thing he wouldn't listen to. I was in ninth grade when things kind of started I guess you could say. It was my first year of high school and I was going to my Dad's restraunt everyday after school, where Red would be working. I don't know what it was about the first time he truly caught my heart but it defiently happened and it definetly is a feeling I will never forget. I started seeing him differently... all of a sudden I was extremely attracted to him and he was attracted to me as well. I worked at the restraunt on and off, here and there. We started flirting and making googly eyes at each other and sneaking smiles, sometimes a tap on the shoulder or a peak around the corner and I was head over heels. And the funny part was we still had hardly spoken any words to one another. I felt kind of emotionally ambushed, like I had no control over my feelings and everything was happening so fast but it was one of the greatest feelings in the world.
Things kind of took on there own agenda. It literally felt like I was on a map with all the directions written out for me. I never understood fate until that September. It just so happened that right when Red and I took a liking to each other our life path took on the same kind of feel. I started a new school which lead me to being at the restraunt every day after school got out. Then I would have to go pick up my brother and everyday I would also pass by Red's house AND I started working there at the same time all of these other things were happening.
But this is when things start to get a bit messy. Red was 21 and I was only 14 (soon to be 15) and my parents did not nessasarily take a liking to him, nor did my family seeing as they all knew him as well. I was also the boss's daughter... I came from a wealthy family and Red was the bad boy that didn't really have the best life but none of this stopped us. At first I really didn't think that much into it, I was basically blinded from the start. I felt these kind of feelings had I never felt before and it just felt so right. At first I was open about me thinking Red was attractive... I would tell my parents all the time and they would always take it light heartedly and just laugh at how insane I sounded. To them it wasn't any big dear; after all their precouse daughter could never love a guy like that but they were wrong.
September flew by as well as October, we were still just flirting but never talking because we knew we wern't aloud. Basically we were off limits. So we just kept up with the eye contact and secret language. November came and we finally took the next step, he asked for my number. Everything started to get serious after that. We would talk basically every day weather it was over the phone or through text messages, and we talked about EVERYTHING. We would often stay on the phone for two hours straight. I always had to go outside so my Mom couldn't here me and when she asked who I was talking on the phone to with I just made up a name.
A few months past and we were still talkin'. We agreed to wait for each other. We planned everything out... we were going to keep talking until I turned 18, then we were going to become an actual couple and tell my parents but until then we were a secret. But that didn't last for long and I came to find that we wernt a secret to begin with. My mom saw a picture of him on my phone and flipped out. She ran upstairs to tell my Dad and I begged them not to say anything to you. I just made up all these exscuses and denied everything but a part of me couldn't help but smile. Well my begging didn't do any good because the next day Red called me and told me that my Dad came up to him at work and told him to stay away from me.
That situation blew over but my parents had their eye on us now. We had no other choice to sneak around but we both didn't mind. We were just so stubborn and we definetly didn't listen but the only thing that mattered was that I was following my heart even though that meant breaking all the rules. My mom would tell me to not get involved with him but that never stopped me. I was already in love. Everything got pretty serious after the new year. He became my everything. Everyone knew, it was so obvious after a while and people just that vibe but we would always deny it. I was feeling on top of the world, he made me so happy and despite it all I saw the best of him.
The summer came and we finally got the guts to actually hang out together. I would go over to his apartment and he would cook me dinner and we would just play around, talk about everything and have a blast. Or we would walk so far in the middle of the night just to meet in the middle at this little park just so we could hang out for a few hours. We created an extremely strong bond and he gave me this sense of comfort. All my life I never really felt like I fit in anywhere, especially in my family. I felt like the black sheep when it came to them. I was always different than everyone else but I always got a long with everyone and always made friends with everyone but I could always feel that something was off. But with Red it was a completely different story. For once, I felt like I belonged... he felt like home to me.
We had such a great comfort level with each other and we could open us very easily. We also argued more times than I can count, over the dumbest things... so dumb that I can't even remember what they were about in the first place but they blew over just as soon as they started and we would just look back at it and laugh. I always felt this connection to him and to this day I still can't explain it. We just felt so familiar and right. We were in love.
But as they say "the course of true love never did run smoothly." We had to keep in mind the risks that we were taking just to be together but we agreed that it was worth it. Eventually things took a turn for the worse though. My mom started getting to my head and she told me that she has a very strong intuition that Red and I are involved in some way and she promised me that nothing good would come out of it. She tried to come between us plenty of times before but this time was different and I got scared. All of a sudden all the emotions rushed through me and I was completely over whelmed. So I wanted to talk to Red about everything but that didn't go over to smoothly. He started getting tired of hearing all the crap my parents talk about him and I was tired of it to. But we let them get to the best of us. We got into an argument and out of frustration and fear we both decided to stop for a while.
So I was devastated. My parents saw a change in me, everyone did. Everyone started treating me with such delicousy... almost as if I was porcelin. I felt broken. I cried and I cried and I cried. But I did everything I could to act like I was okay when I went out into public. I hit rock bottom and I had never been in a lower state of mind then I was at that time. My mom would still bring Red up in conversations and everytime it brought tears to my eyes but I'd never let her see. I never told her that we ended things and I don't think she got the memo cause she still talked about him like he was still around.
A week went by and it was the longest week of my life, then my Dad told me that he fired Red 5 days ago. That is when I lost it. Everything was changing so fast and all I could think about is if he was okay. I hadn't talked to him since the night we ended things. I tried to call but he never answered and I texted him a number of times, those went unresponded to. It was also so weird to me that the day after we break things off, my Dad fires him. My Dad told me he had a bad attitude and wasn't go any good for the buisness. I was so angry. I looked at my parents and just thought to myself "how can they be so happy when they broke us?" I had never felt so much pain.
Well that was six weeks ago and here I am today. I still haven't talked to Red and I just hope he is okay. I still have this hope that he will call me... but I just don't know. I miss him more than anything and I feel like a piece of me was taken. Things have gotten better and I'm not as sad I was when it first happened but I still cry and I'm in the process of healing. I just want the best for the both of us and I hope that he is happy where ever he is. I hope for my own sake that he will re-enter my life but if he's better off with out me than that is what I want, no matter how hard it is for me.
I still don't understand why things happened the way they did but I know that with time things will reveal themselves and everything will make more sense. I still feel this dee connection to Red though and I feel like I will always love him. After all the kind of love we had just don't happen twice.
If anyone reading this has any oppinion at all to share then feel free to do so. I'd love to hear from an outsider looking in.

What do I do??? Ok I have a boy I like that is going to ask me aut soon. I'm really excited to have my first boyfriend but how do I ask my parents if they ard ok with me going out with someone. I'm reAlly nervous!!!!!!! Are they goi g b b ok with this. I want a boyfriend but i've not had one cause I do t want yo tell m pardnts.