Mothers and Phone Calls
by Margo Howard
Dear Margo: I am a 40-year-old college-educated business owner, wife and mother of two young boys. My mother and father live a half-hour away. I used to call once a week. If I let more than a week go by, I would get a sour greeting from my mother, such as, "Oh, about time you called," and the conversation would go downhill from there. This would get me mad, as I did not call to be scolded. As the years went by, my phone calls became less frequent. In 10 years (I'm not exaggerating), ...
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Posted by: Pat
Comment: #1
Sat May 16, 2009 11:28 AM
LW2: Ok, this is a topic I know little about but have had assumptions. The lw says her ex owes a huge amount in child support. I thought there were ways to go after that now so that the money could be taken from his paycheck or from his income tax refunds or that the authorities would revoke his business and driving licenses until he's paid up. Am I wrong? I know one of my ex-bil's also left the state to avoid paying child support but that was something like 35 to 40 years ago - before these new regulations. Will someone please fill me in on current laws about this? I just don't understand why the lw hasn't done this yet.
------- I agree that the best way to prevent this guy from showing up at the party is to tell him the police will be there to arrest him for his outstanding warrants if he shows up. Then the minute he does show up, call the police. They should be able to arrest him not only on his outstanding warrants but for trespassing since the lw and her husband don't want him there and have told him so.
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Posted by: ann willis
Comment: #2
Tue May 19, 2009 12:16 PM
I am so weary of lousy parents (male and female), who neglect, abuse, or vanish from their families for years, then seem to think they can waltz right back in when the children are grown up and be welcomed with open arms. Margo is exactly right in saying that it's okay to say they are NOT welcome! At ages 21 and 18, the writer's daughters are old enough to understand the facts about their "father." They should also consider their stepfather their "real" father, as he is the one who has been there day after day throughout most of their lives. Too many times, the people who are left to pick up the pieces are urged to "forgive." Sorry, but without holding a grudge, you can let the louses, skunks, and other creeps who have negatively impacted your life know that they are not needed nor welcomed.
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