Margo,
As one of your Muslim female readers, I was extremely disappointed in how you answered today's inquiry (8/21/09). Instead of sounding like the biggot that you've proven to be, you could have done your research. Islam has no restrictions when it comes to breaking off an engagement, or even divorcing for that matter. Furthermore, instead of using the usual "intimidation" words- Department of Immigration this and that- you could have used your lentil size brain and figured out that American Muslims have as many rights as, say, Jewish Americans, your own people. And enough about the stonning jokes. Many innocent Muslim women have to go through that and die from that everyday, without yet another Jewish white trash making fun of it. Show compassion for God's sake; you're supposed to be educated. Your mother is rolling in her grave right now. Shame on you! But yet again, considering the source....we're all "goyim" to you anyway, "less than an animal", even your majority Christian readers....Glad to see your true colors at last!!!
No Longer A Reader from Ohio

I can't believe what kind of advice you're giving to that port lady in who's pregnant and have a 17 month old child. How do you tell someone to bide their time and then leave? What makes her incapable and unable to take care of herself while she's pregnant. You should've asked what kind of support system she has? It's not impossible to leave your husband even though you're pregnant. She may want to try and work it out more and put even more effort in it, but a relationship is a 2 way street. If he's not going to reciprocate, why is that even a good situation for her child, herself AND her unborn child to thrive while she's "WAITING IT OUT". This is not even in addition to the other comment you gave about the Muslim family. BY GOD, you give HORRIBLE advice and I'm sure you've offended tons of readers. ~A serious pissed off reader and advertiser for this site.

I LOVED your advice to LW concerning the muslim engagement. They're using intimidation tactics, so why shouldn't he? And I didn't think it was a stoning "joke". Quite the contrary, the fact that this practice still occurs is quite sickening. And hey, if they don't like americans and our way of life, they can always go back to their own country.

Is Margo on vacation, and is somebody else filling in? The advice doesn't seem to be the usual Margo style. I have never seen Margo advising somebody to bide their time in a miserable marriage. She may recommend counseling, but not staying put in what sounds like an emotionally and verbally abusive relationship. Bide time until when? While leaving a marriage is never easy, especially for a woman with a 17-month old kid and no job, it's easier to leave when you are 4 months pregnant than when you have a toddler and a newborn. Or a toddler and a pre-schooler, who may still be in diapers. Is Margo advising that LW bides her time until both kids are in school? That's at least 5 more years, maybe six. With a husband like hers, she may be pregnant with another baby by then. LW says she is 35, has been married for 2 years, and is a housewife. That means that until the age of 33 she probably had a job and supported herself. In two years, her skills wouldn't have become outdated. She can get a job now and work until the baby is born. So, counseling or get out now. Or both. As for LW2, I can't believe Margo brought up the Department of Immigration (which is called the U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services, btw). What? All Muslims are immigrants? There are millions of Muslims in the U.S. who are either born or naturalized citizens, so the USCIS can do nothing about them. Moreover, while permanent residents who have committed a crime may be deported, they first need to be *convicted* of this crime. "My fiancee's family is threatening me, so deport them," just doesn't cut it. If you feel threatened, call the police and file a complaint. Get a restraining order if necessary. But brining in immigration into the matter is both xenophobic and stupid.

Jennifer, Did it occur to you that this Muslim family might just BE American? In which case, where do you propose they go?

LW1 - Call the House of Ruth. Call the Aunt that you haven't spoke to in 10 years or your roommate from college and ask for help. You need to get out. Margo's advice is just not tenable today!

LW2 - Engagement is engagement. Marriage is the commitment. Your friend is an idiot. Clearly your friend was dazzled by his fiancee's virginity and not her character or personality.

Margo, What is wrong with you today? I am disgusted at your advice. If you are using a ghost writer, fire them. If you wrote this, or gave it your approval, then you need to be fired.

I agree with those who said, "Is Margo on vacation?" No marriage is a loss until the couple has given marital therapy an earnest try. Her husband may have been raised by emotionally distant parents, truly loves his wife and toddler very much, but not be able to show it. He also could have low testosterone levels dampening his libido. No way would I call it "over" until counseling fails or if he refuses to go at all.

Re: the Muslim engagement, my view is that it might not be a threatening situation for the man, as much as it is for the woman. I don't know what Muslim customs are, but it could be that she'd be viewed as undesirable to any man of her faith. I think Margo should have asked a source in the Muslim faith for input.

Lw1 I agree with margo on bidding her time but she start making herself independent. I want to know is why did she get pregant again with a guy who's like this??? I honestly don't get it.
Lw2 I think your friend started to get discouraged from marrying her because of a few factors. He needs to her as her for her. If her parents go overboard with threats, he can either call the police or get a restraining order on them. We don't know much about the parents to rule out where they were born.
As for margo, I think one of her co-workers handled the letters, not her. But, I think she should do research more. Plus, it's out of the blue opinions.

I m extremly offended by how margo reply, seek the Department of Immigration? What? Are all Muslims in US are immigrants? i m a female muslim, to my knowledge Islam has never enforce breaking off an engagement, or even divorcing for that. Islam does not condone physical relation until the marriage solemnise, surely the reader friends know about all this before deciding to get enggage? You should never agreed to marry someone of different faith if you don't fully understand it, Margo should search thoroughly in this! in bringing immigration into the matter is shows xenophobic.

Re: lin

I too was outraged that Margo would suggest calling "Department of Immigration" (which doesn't exist, it is ICE: "Immigrationa dn Customs Enforcement") Don't like how they are interacting with a "real" American? Let's ship 'em all home! That's the attitude that makes Americans seem detestable to so much of the world. And like we need any more bad blood with Arab and Muslim neighbors. I also find it incredible that she assumed that they were immigrants. A totally insensitive, offensive, and xenophobic response.

What do you have to say for yourself, Margo??