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Investigate Potential Abuse

by Dr. Sylvia Rimm

Q: My 5-year-old daughter recently tried to kiss a boy in an after-school program. When the boy refused her, she tried to kick him in his privates. My husband had a long talk about how this was wrong and inappropriate. The next day, she tried to kiss a boy on his "pee-pee," again was refused, and she kicked him also.

She has never, ever behaved this way. I am perplexed as to how she equates love or affection by kissing a pee-pee. How could she get this idea? I am especially e ...

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Posted by: BB
Comment: #1
Sun Nov 1, 2009 8:08 AM

If you get any hint that something inappropriate happened to your daughter, do not press her. Children want to please parents and other adults and being asked repeatedly if she's been touched or insisting on an answer could not only show something true, it could also get her to reply positively when nothing happened. Lots of reputations have been ruined because adults pushed kids past their ability to hold out for the truth. More adults have probably ignored signs or told children they were lying. If you think something has been going on, get someone who knows how to gain this information so it can be used to stop whatever is going on and punish the perpetrator (or get help for some child). That could be a therapist or a sex crimes against children police officer.

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