For the witness problem, tack a "Private Property- No Trespassing" sign on your first point of entry, and then make it clearly known that you will have them arrested if they so much as step foot on your property. Sometimes that is the way you have to approach self absorbed, thick headed people. As for the SIL- here's how you set the tone and express your feelings point blank upon your first encounter with your brother's wife- "Hello slut". I think she'll know where you're coming from, and very likely that will solve any desires for a hug on her part.

RE Pat: -- For all you posters who have read my comments in the past, please be aware that the comment here by someone else named Pat regarding the no trespassing signs for Jehovah's Witnesses and her suggestion that the sil call her brother's wife "slut" is not me. I do not advocate either piece of advice that she gives. She's a very negative person and I don't want to be mistaken for her. - - - - -
Regarding the Witnesses, my husband is a Jehovah's Witness. Just tell the person who comes to your door that you don't want visits from any Witnesses and that it is your understanding that the Watchtower Society now tells its members to follow those directions. They may call about once a year to check whether there's new people in the home or whether you're of the same opinion. There may be a new member of the congregation however who is more "gung ho" and they may be somewhat more determined because they are so excited about their new religion. Just tell them that you don't want these visits and please note that to their elders or study group leader.
--------Regarding the woman whose sil cheated, I don't think that name calling is appropriate. I can understand this woman's ire on her brother's behalf. Trying to fix his marriage is her brother's business, not hers. If she really wants to do what's best for her brother, she should talk to him and ask what he wants her to do. I understand that she no longer wants to be on very friendly terms with this sil again and she won't voluntarily spend time alone with this woman. But she should act in a civil, if not friendly, manner and allow her brother to try to fix his marriage as he wants without adding more stress for him. People rarely, if ever, see everything that goes on in other people's marriages. There could very well be other things that went on in that marriage than the woman is aware of; so she should keep out of it and allow the couple to deal with things without interference. She can certainly tell her brother that she loves him and that she will support him if and when he needs it. - -- "The Other Pat"

Even as someone who is a committed Christian, I have a problem with JW's and Mormons bothering people at home. (On top of the fact that I find both groups to be preaching an adulterated, twisted version of the faith.) Frankly it's amazing that Margo would suggest sleeping with earplugs in on Friday nights, just to avoid being disturbed by someone ringing the doorbell in your own home. A person shouldn't need to do anything extraordinary to get rid of unwanted visitors. I would just be firm with them, and close the door.

I'm never an advocate for cheating - which I think is always the wrong way to go. It's a betrayal no matter who does it and can bring dangerous elements - like disease or an awkward pregnancy - into the marriage. However, I think people tend to forget that there is a lot more that goes on with a couple before closed doors.Perhaps the SiL cheated because she is promiscuous - or maybe she did it because she is was feeling lonely or taken for granted. The cheating part is just what outsiders see. The LW may know and love her brother, but that does not mean she knows the inside of their marriage. Instead of judging, she should make sure that her brother knows that she will support his decisions - no matter what they are.

And to the person who suggested calling SiL a 'slut' - Wow. Please say you're joking and the rest of us just missed it? All this will do it show your brother that he has to choose between his wife and you. And, if he has a new baby with said wife, guess which choice it will likely be? -- As for the Jehovas Witness, I remember when I was still a Christian with this strong belief that it was my duty to make sure other people were saved. Because, if you love your fellow man (as the bible teaches) then you should love them enough to not wish to see them in hell. While it is no longer a part of my belief system, I keep this memory with me when I open the door to proselytizers. Listen to their spiel and then tell them thank you but that you would prefer they not come to your door anymore. If that (or regular Pats suggestion) doesn't work, then resort to rudeness.

As one of Jehovahs Witnesses I feel the need to defend my faith. First of all we are taught never to argue at a door nor to tell anyone they are wrong.Yes a big part of our faith is the door to door work. Our goal is to help others just as Jesus did when he too went door to door. Our time is also valuable. For that reason we DO NOT go back to a persons door if they say they are not interested. I have never worked in the ministry and argued. That is not my intention. It doesn't mean that a year down the road someone else might not call on that person. This person makes it look as if we are at their door every Saturday and that is just not true. I had someone at my door last week asking me to sign a paper against gays. I was respectful and said no. This person is not telling the whole truth or maybe their looking for a reason to gripe. We are living in the age of crime,immorality,cruelty,and lack of compassion. Id rather have someone come to my door with good news than to rob or murder me which seems to be the norm. Witnesses are law abiding christians. Just say you're not interested and politely shut the door. I assure you we will thank you and walk away.There is just too much lack of information here.

Some religious types came to my door. I told them that I would honor their religion if they would honor mine. They asked what my religion was. I said,"I am an Orthodox Nudist. If you will take off your clothes in honor of my religion, then I will listen to what you have to say. They ran off, plus they must have spread the word because none of them have returned!

Re: Datura ---- I just thought I'd note that Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in a fiery hell. I know a lot of "Christian" religions teach that you're going to a fiery hell if you sin and don't repent. The first I ever suspected that such a hell may not exist was in something written by George Bernard Shaw. I can't remember what it was, but we had to read this thing in high school and I was shocked that not everyone believed in hell. Then I found out that the Witnesses say the hell Jesus referred to (or Gehenna) was a garbage dump that burned outside Jerusalem and he used it to symbolize everlasting destruction, or death, not an everlasting burning punishment for wrongdoers. I found it interesting that my m-i-l who was such a sweet lady who was raised Catholic actually LIKED the idea of a fiery hell. I'd rather see evil people gone forever rather than know they're being tortured in a fiery hell forever, but that's just me.

"No one is home until noon. We work the night shift." . Really? Put a sign on your door letting people know that no one is home....hmmm, let me put on my common sense hat for this one.... not a great idea.

that way they can break in to rob the place and find you in bed. maybe you should have someone proof read your answers - that "ask amy" chick is pretty sharp - see if she'll do it.

Solution for LW1: electric fence and bear traps :)

It's not hard to get rid of JW's, just tell them your are an apostate Jehovah's Witness and you want to show them why their religion is wrong. I guarantee they will make sure that NO JW from their Kingdom Hall ever comes knocking on your door again. JW's would rather kiss a pig with swine flu than get caught talking to an ex-member.

Re: marsha I've lived in both New York City and Silver Spring Maryland and strongly disagree with you. I am polite but firmly tell Witnesses thank you but no thank you. Every single Witness continues to try to convince me to listen to them and pushes Watchtowers and Awake on me or leaves at my door. Every single one! I even invited a group of women in once to listen to their opinion and then told them I was not interested, did not have the same beliefs so please don't return and the SAME GROUP OF WOMEN returned for more than a month until I simply stopped answering the door. So - why you may not push your beliefs on others many in the religion have not gotten the message.

I am a Jehovah's Witness also, and I must say that a fair representation of reality is simply not being presented here. First, Jehovah's Witnesses don't visit any homes until about 9:30 am or later on any given day, since we don't meet for the ministry until 9, and those meetings begin with scriptural discussion, prayer and organizing of groups and territory for the ministry. So this business about getting visited "early" in the morning is just utter nonsense. Also, those who are known to work nights are noted and effort is made to make sure that their homes are only visited in the late afternoon/evenings.

Personally, I converted from the Pentecostal faith and have been baptized as a Jehovah's Witness for the last eight years. I am immeasurably thankful that my home was visited by Jehovah's Witness. Without their loving and kind devotion of their own time and resources, I would not have the hope for the future, knowledge of Bible truth, and close friendship with Jehovah God that I do today. Since I have been a Jehovah's Witness, I have spent literally thousands of hours in the ministry and visited thousands of homes. During this time, I have not witnessed one Jehovah's Witness argue with someone that stated they were not interested. We are encouraged to inquire as to why they feel that way and/or explain the purpose behind our visit, but I would hardly classify that as arguing. Also, if you do not wish to be visited in the future, simply state such and your home will be put on a "do not call" list. Your house will be avoided from then on, and the only time you might get visited anyway is by mistake (i.e. the person you originally told forgot to write your address down as a do not call, or another Witness got distracted and knocked on your door, not realizing that your house number is on the do not call list) or when the elders visit do not calls once a year to see if they still feel the same or have moved.

Jehovah's Witnesses do not get paid to teach the Bible. We do so with our own free time and resources. Most Witnesses work full time, in addition to having families and spending time in the ministry. We teach others the Bible because we care for them and want them to also have the hope, joy and purpose that understanding the scriptures and being near to Jehovah God provides. Also, Jesus and his disciples preached from door to door and he commanded us to do the same. After Jesus rose from the dead, he told his disciples to "Go therefore and make disciples of people of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the holy spirit, teaching them to observe all the things I have commanded you. And look! I am with you all the days until the conclusion of the system of things." (Matthew 28: 19, 20) Jesus also stated that "This good news of the kingdom will be preached in all the inhabited earth for a witness to all the nations; and then the end will come" (Matthew 24:14)

re Matt: I like you and enjoy hearing your opinions, but your statements regarding Jehovah's Witnesses are just plain ignorant. I have thoroughly studied all "Christian" religions, including the Mormons. I have also studied some Eastern religions (Muslim, Buddhist, Hindu, Seik, and Taoist) to understand their basic teachings, but not thoroughly. First, you express your lack of familiarity with the actual teachings of Jehovah's Witness by lumping them in with Mormons. Jehovah's Witness have less in common with Mormons than mainline Protestants. However, we do differ greatly from Protestants and Catholics in that our faith in based solely on the Bible and not influenced by pagan religious teachings and practices or the philosophies of men. To say that Witnesses teach or believe an " adulterated, twisted" form of Christianity only confirms that you have either a) not ever actually investigated what Jehovah's Witnesses believe and how that corresponds with the scriptures (if you wish to, a good place to start is our official website, www.watchtower.org) , b) heard falsehoods from those that are against Jehovah's Witnesses and decided to take them at face value, or c) you are happy with your religion and would rather deride a religion different from your own than consider its merit.

I no longer have Mormons or JW's come to my door. We invited some mormon missionaries to come back and talk to us in a week. During that week, I read the book of Mormon and their other books. I compared how the contradicted the Bible, which I consider to be the basis for a religion that claims to be Christian. The men told me I was quoting lies until I showed them where it was in their literature and how it disagreed with the Bible. They left to talk to their Bishop. We then got a call from the Bishop saying if we left their missionaries alone, they would leave us alone. I never had a Mormon come to that house for the remaining 5 years we lived there.

The last time I had an older JW gentleman come to the door. I was feeling sad about something and when he came to the door, I told him that I believed his faith was bearing false witness (based upon the number of predictions the WatchTower has made that did not come true. The Bible states that if someone makes a prophecy and says it is from God and it doesn't come true than they are a false prophet!) Anyway, I told him I felt he was being deceived and that I would pray for him. This got him REALLY upset. Guess they don't want heathens to pray for them. He told me not to and I said I was going to and started to tear up. Anyway, he took off running down my driveway. My neighbor came to my door a few minutes later to thank me because he knew he was heading to his door next! I guess he ran all the way to his car and took off. (And I did pray for him that night!)

If I were having that problem, I would contact the local Kingdom Hall of Jehovah's Witnesses, ask for the Service Overseer and ask them to note my address on the DO NOT CALL list. This should take care of the problem. I value the opinion of those I call on and I value their time and mine. If someone is clearly not interested, I respect their opinion and go on to the next door. It is our responsibility to witness door to door but everyone has the right to say they aren't interested in what we have to say. We may call on the address after a few months have gone by to make sure the person has not moved and/or their opinions have changed. I have had experiences where this has happened and a person who once did not want to talk to a JW, now does. Also, a do not trespass sign is respected. I truly apologize for an overly zealous JW. We only have the best of intentions at heart.

My cat used to wake me up early meowing outside my bedroom door. I'd tell him no but he wouldn't listen. One night, feeling grumpy I tossed a cold glass of water in his face. He never did it again. Maybe this would also work for prostelitizers who've been told no but can't seem to remember they've been told no. Worked on my cat.

You don't have to answer the door just because a religious nutcase shows up. You can wear earplugs. You can ignore them. You can tell them to get off of your property. You can put up a better note. Tell them to go away. Tell them you aren't interested. Refuse to discuss it. Close the door. Answer the door with your phone in your hand and call the police. Tell them to spread the word that you don't want to be bothered with their "good news" ever again, and you'll consider it trespassing next time. Do something other than put up with it and pout.

The answer to this problem is so simple I am afraid for the intelligence of you all. JUST DO NOT ANSWER THE BELL OR THE KNOCK!! Even the most persistent of them will go away after a few minutes. And if they continue, call their headquarters and tell them to leave you alone or you will call the police. In my town, the JWs will leave you alone if you alert them, and the police will enforce the trespassing rules.

Seriously, do you answer the telephone every time no matter what? Grow some independence.