Jan Denise: I hate to break it to you but you don't understand what "friends with benefits" means. For one thing, its not a real friendship - you don't have sex with friends. You're basically having repeated sex and both parties know that the rule is casual with no commitment, period. The statement "friends with benefits" is tongue and cheek and not to be taken literally. I find it kind of scary that you have people writing to you about how to find a willing sexual friend - it means they don't get it either.

FWB is not as bad as you make it out to be. For one thing, if you have someone on the side, you are not desperate to jump into bed so soon when dating. You can take your time and get to know the person because you're not all horned up wanting sex. Also, if you are the kind of person who isn't interested in a committed relationship and all the head games that go along with it, it can be just the thing that does the trick. Yes, it can be lonely and empty. But so can being in a relationship. The benefit is, you can cut it off whenever you want. No messy divorce, no nasty breakup drama. And most importantly you have the freedom to come and go and they are not in your space.