Ethnically Speaking, March 7
by Larry Meeks
Dear Larry: In this day and age, with a black president, one would think people would be more accepting of interracial relationships. I have a major problem. I am a 27-year-old white woman and in love for the first time in my life. I have dated a number of men, however my current boyfriend, who is 31 years old, is the finest man who ever lived.
He is courteous, thoughtful, handsome, educated and drop-dead sexy. I can't think of anyone who possibly could be any better. With all of that ...
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Posted by: Jon
Comment: #1
Mon Mar 9, 2009 3:02 PM
It does seem weird that her parents have welcomed him into their home and then turned on him when the subject of marriage came up. What did they think would follow their daughter seeing this man steadily for two years? Even though she may be subjected to this attitude from others, and as painful as it may be to lose her parents, I hope she stays with him. He sounds like a great catch, and the rest of the family may not share in her parents bigoted attitude.
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Posted by: BB
Comment: #2
Sat Mar 7, 2009 8:00 AM
This young woman has found a jewel of a guy - someone who doesn't try to influence her in this situation - who is willing to let her work through it. She already knows he loves her and is there for her but he is letting her understand what may happen if she does marry him. It is likely that her parents may love the grandkids and welcome the husband with open arms, but she shouldn't count on it. They may love the grandkids and shun him. I hope she marries him because of his character.
I can see how she is stunned at her parents' comments. There are no blacks in the family tree. Maybe they forget that if she lives with him and has sex, which they prefer over marriage, there may be quite a few interracial children in that family tree. Considering what that woman says about her boyfriend, that just may be the best thing that ever happened to it.
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Posted by: Ariana
Comment: #3
Sun Mar 8, 2009 11:26 AM
I don't know if I'd want contact with family members - yes, including my parents - who were that racist. This kind of racism is even worse than the outright racial-slur slinging racism because it is closeted. Shame on the parents. I hope the young woman marries the man whom she loves and who loves her and who seems to be a wonderful guy.
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Posted by: moon
Comment: #4
Tue Mar 10, 2009 7:03 AM
Ariana, I'm with you. I had a similar experience when I was young. Not a relationship that went to the point of engagement, but a young man that was spoken highly of in our home until I made an offhand comment about how good looking he was. Suddenly he was an n word. Not long after a friend came by one day with her boyfriend and his cousin. We were sitting outside talking and when they saw the brown skins of the boyfriend and his cousin (Hispanics) the cursing started. They were ordered away with curses and racial slurs for no other reason than their ancestry.
It was ages before my parents and I regained any sort of decent relationship. Their stark and unreasonable bigotry totally destroyed my respect for them for the rest of their lives. I was able to regain some for different parts of their lives/accomplishments, but overall after that they had more my disgust and pity.
I am sure if they had been aware of my mixed heritage they would never have adopted me, but my darker blood doesn't show because of all the pale European stock with which it is blended.
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