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Ethnically Speaking, September 13

by Larry Meeks

Dear Larry: I am 19 years old, and my girlfriend is 21. She is black, and I am white. We get along great, and this is the first time I have fallen in love. It is a great thing except for one thing: My girlfriend loves to wear very low-cut blouses.

This has become a major point of discussion between us. She wears clothes with as many as three buttons unbuttoned. When we go places, all the men stare at her. She doesn't say anything to other guys, but I don't like the way they look and sm ...

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Posted by: James Radomski
Comment: #1
Mon Sep 22, 2008 10:08 AM

I was disturbed by Larry Meeks' response to Lance. The virtue in question is modesty, which is essential in maintaining proper love relations. Every culture has clear lines defining modesty—even cultures where climate and tradition have favored little clothing. Love is a 100 % giving to another person. And modesty assures this. One doesn't give oneself to everyone on the street: that's prostitution. Lance was perfectly right to want his girlfriend to be modest in her dress. Arguing that this has something to do with African heritage is just a poor excuse. Many African and African American women honor the virtue of modesty and dress with common sense. On the other hand there IS a certain current among some African American women that promotes an easy eroticism. But statistics also show that promiscuity and resulting children born out of wedlock are hgh among these women. If promiscuity and children born out of wedlock are considered problems and destructive of family, I think one might consider that modesty is a crucial part of the solution. I say to Lance that you are right to demand modesty from a potential spouse (of course you have to live it yourself). If your girlfriend insists on being immodest in dress I'd look for another girlfriend; otherwise you're opening yourself up to real problems down the road. James Radomski, Ph.D. Professor of Humanities California State University San Bernardino, CA

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