Nameless should realize that making one decision means that you have to reject another. Sure, having an abortion could possibly haunt her for the rest of her life, but so will having gotten pregnant in a situation such as she is in. I think she needs to go for some counseling to help identify her priorities and consider placing the baby for adoption. She could begin starting to come to terms with her decision, whatever it is, but must realize she will have feelings, which could keep her up at night, about any decision she makes. Counseling could reduce the degree that feeling regretful dominates her life. This is not a have or kill situation and she needs a clear head in order to make it.

While I believe it is very smart on Kate's part to view any dating she does as the way to select her husband (instead of just looking for a good time), I wish the good Dr. had taken the opportunity to clarify for Kate that just because she feels confident SHE has superior intellegience (although she comes across as an elitist) and she's 100% confident that her future husband will also have "an abundance of intelligence", that in no way "ensures that our children will be smart".

Intelligence, or even the ability to be intelligent, is not a gene that is passed from the parents to the child like the color of their eyes or curly hair. It is a symphony of opportunity, exposure, expectations, and just stupid good luck. Children are born every day with unexplained and irreparable brain damage and developmental delays, and someone needs to make it clear to Kate that even if she does everything by the book during a pregnancy (including preparing her body a year in advance with proper diet, exercise, and supplements), there is still no guarantee that her child will be born with the unrealistic expection of perfection she is already placing on her yet-to-be-conceived child.

This child, herself, needs some serious maturing and parenting training before she decides to procreate and potentially damage an otherwise very lovable human being, imprefections and all!

LW2: I'm not surprised to see that Kate is immediately being slammed for placing importance on intelligence. Our anti-intellectual society rapidly and meanly trashes anyone who dares think that they are intelligent and that finding a mate who is also highly intelligent matters. Expect to hear more about how elitist that is. I hope she ignores these people.

I recommend that she focus on the music aspect. People with the talent and discipline to take the study of music seriously are highly likely to have all of the qualities she is looking for a mate. If she can prepare herself for a major or minor in music in college, all the better. A young man who loves music, possesses the talent and discipline to be successful in a music program followed by a music career, and the foresight to train for that music career in a college or university with a rep for their excellent music program could be a winner for Kate. And studying music is a joy for your entire life, whether it ultimately ends up being a career or not.