LW1: You could certainly try to sue him in small claims court. From what I've seen on those court tv programs such as Judge Judy, I'd suggest at a minimum you should make sure you have proof of all you spent on him and proof that it was loans, not gifts. Even a third party being present while you discussed the loan with him would be helpful. Or text messages, voice messages, or email would also probably serve. If you can get the lawsuit on one of those court tv programs, it's possible they help pay the judgement. I don't know this for certain, but why else would people be willing to air their "dirty laundry?" ---- On the other hand, whether you choose to sue or not, there's another aspect of this situation to consider. As Annie said, you could chalk it up to experience. As a friend once said of a situation in which my husband was cheated out of some money, "You pay tuition to get a college education. Consider this tuition in the school of life." You've had an expensive lesson. Don't pay for things like that for a bf. He should be able to provide for himself. If he doesn't and has no really good reason for not doing so, run for the hills as fast as you can. ---- If you ever do pay for something on someone else's behalf, make sure you get it in writing: date of the loan , how much the loan is for, when and how it is to be repaid, the interest rate if applicable. And of course get the person's signature. A witness signature would also be a good idea. Include the adress and phone number of both the person receiving the loan and the witness to facilitate things later if necessary. Keep an original signed copy for yourself and give another to the person receiving the loan so he knows what is expected of him. These are just some basic ideas of what I would do in this type of situation. A lawyer could give you better or more complete advice.

LW3: If I recall the original letter correctly (and I could be wrong), the problem was that the parents of the girl were separated or divorced and the mom was allowing the daughter to attend these parties and the father didn't want her to. I believe all of us on the comment board were saying he should stick to his guns and if his daughter was permitted to attend another of these parties where alcohol was served, he should have the hosting parents arrested.

I think it's interesting that the second letter writer automatically equates "You used to be so pretty," or "You could be such a beautiful girl" with "You are fat." Obviously that isn't the case, especially since she's lost weight. The relative could just as well be commenting on her obvious unhappiness -- maybe she doesn't smile as much as she used to, or (understandably) just doesn't care about her appearance in general anymore. Perhaps still not tactful or welcome comments, but the relative is probably just expressing concern. When someone who used to take care with their appearance suddenly stops, people worry. It's a natural reaction and has nothing to do with weight.

The writer of the letter, "Not That Fat", nailed the reason for her problem in her own statement: "Now that I'm going to be single, I realize I should focus on looking better".

Unfortunately, this is one of the main causes of marriage failures in this country. Once a woman has "got her man", she feels that she can just let herself go and stop exerting the effort required to look good. You could have done the wives who read your column a huge favor if you had pointed this out.

If this woman wants to "make the torment stop", all she has to do is lose some weight!

She may be able to fight this in small claims court, but it doesn't look very good. Chances are, this is going to be a very expensive lesson for her. Unless you plan on being a meal ticket, never date someone who expects you to pay their way.