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I do't understand how anyone adult can protect a child molester. Do they understand that by not reporting this crime, they are accessories to child molestation and can be charged? They are no less guilty than the perpetrator. As for LW1, are you your children's mother or are you desperately trying to be their friend? Children have friends. They need adults to provide comfort and safety and boundaries and guidance. To do a good job, you need to be the adult. I agree with Datura.

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LW1: No, she was not wrong to limit the texting time allowed to her daughters. Limiting texting is not the same as turning the phone off during those hours; so they can still use the phones to call 911 if necessary or to call home if they need to. The phones are a luxury pure and simple and they should not be using them in school anyway. I'd start putting a limit on the number of texts as well. If they go over the limit, they lose the phone for a specified period of time. --------- LW2: Annie's right. Your phone calls out as well as receives calls; so use it. Also, why should these friends limit themselves to one couple for friendship? It may very well be that they find you rather needy and tired of your constant company. Perhaps they weren't having as much fun as you were. So call to invite them out. If they continue to find excuses to refuse your invitations, you'll have your answer. But in any case, do branch out and socialize with other friends as well. ------------- LW3: Annie didn't go far enough. She neglected to say the lw should inform her brother's family members about his molesting his other sister. I wonder how long ago this happened. Since her mom told her not to tell his grown children (but of course she should), I'm assuming this happened at least 20 years ago or more. I wonder why she didn't tell her parents what happened when it happened. Perhaps it was the previous letter she's referring to that gave her the courage to finally tell her mom. I feel really bad for her sister because no one, even the lw, came to her rescue at the time. And the lw said it happened for years. Why didn't the lw say anything at the time? The lw needs to get this out in the open. Who knows whether this jerk has molested any other young girls, including his own daughters.

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I don't have a problem with rewarding kids for good grades when they are younger. In elementary or junior high, they may be too young to realize how important studying is. But high school? Unless the parents decide to set it up beforehand, no, I wouldn't let a teen suddenly tell me to give her money for grades. At that age, they need to realize that the learning is for their benefit. We were always seeing people working outside digging ditches and other hard labor as I drove my son to school. I'd tell him, half-joking, that I bet that guy wishes he'd paid attention in school so he wouldn't have to work so hard now. As far as the texting, if the girls are getting close to graduation, I'd loosen up. Holding the reins too tight now may cause them to go wild when they get away from home and mom is no longer around to tell them to hang up the phone and go to bed. My parents always made me go to bed earlier than I wanted, up until I left home at 18. Then in my first apartment, I stayed up until 2 or 3, even though I had to get up early for work. I was tired all the time, but by golly, I was free.

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Re: Datura, I agree with you 100%! That daughter has quite some nerve asking for money just because she gets good grades. As for the phones, I would have given my kids the basic phone model for emergencies only and if they wanted more features they would have to get a job and pay for it themselves. Kids are spoiled these days, but guess what...it's the parents who are spoiling them, no one else.

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There is a good chance that LW1's daughter is testing the limits. There is nothing wrong with asking for something outrageous and settling for something more than you would have gotten otherwise. I've also heard of kids staying up under the covers with a flashlight and a book when Mom and Dad said to go to sleep and I mean it now! Of course, in the olden days we didn't have parents giving us cell phones with no texting limits and a camera - then worry we might be sexting. If we had the phone and broke the rules, it would have been put somewhere in our parents' room, turned off. We even had a time limit for the one telephone in the house and any privacy came at the end of the phone cord. I'm sure one or two of us asked to be paid for doing chores and a lot of our Moms were at home then. I'm sure I did it a time or two in my teens. Those weren't perfect days and I'm sure we did lots of things to drive our parents crazy. We just have to keep this in perspective. I blame the parents for permitting the excessive texting and not putting their foot down as soon as it was clear their daughter wasn't keeping track of the number of tests she was sending. Glad Mom finally woke up. We never heard of pot but I'll bet kids were drinking and smoking even then. I used to see the junior high kids smoking on the sidewalk in front of their school, obviously trying to hide this, when I drove by in the late 1970s.

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I just wanted to point out that excessive texting doesn't have to be expensive. I have unlimited texting on my cell phone plan and it only costs an extra $5 a month. It wouldn't be unreasonable to make the daughter pay that $5 or $10 (depending on their cell phone provider) though.

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LW1: Sometimes I wonder what happened to us that we all became so terrified to discipline our children. The LWs daughters may be good girls who get good grades but they have serious problems if they are not only 1) not getting any sleep but also 2) lying to their mother about things. Were it me, I'd have taken their cell phones away altogether and replace them with some piece of crud that only allows you to make calls. And now her daughters are demanding money for grades? Getting into a good college is what good grades gets you - not instant gratification from your parents.