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LW2: This same person wrote in to Dear Abby on June 3. The letter itself was somewhat different but basically the same: wife's youngest daughter moved in with with her 3 young children (In Abby's column the kids are 3,4, and 5.) I suspect the editors change the letters somewhat to fit the column space. Abby said she agreed with Grandpa and that the wife and her daughter are " being far too permissive. Children that young should ask for treats, not be allowed to forage. Rules have to be set and enforced. What is to stop those children from dragging a chair up to a bathroom medicine cabinet and helping themselves to the pills?" I have to agree with both columnists. This is not only an unsanitary practice, it is extremely dangerous. If I were Grandpa, I'd take a video of the women allowing the kids to climb up on the counters. This can be dangerous even for an adult. For 3, 4, and 5 year old kids? It's a disaster in the making. What's wrong with these women?

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The woman with the free loading husband should get him off her credit cards, take him off any other joint accounts and start divorce proceedings or she'll be lucky to get out of this with any of her retirement money. I can understand her new husband wanting to support his daughter (the house cleaner goes a little far) but not at her expense. Right now, she is supporting him and his grown daughter. I can't believe he didn't show some signs of this when they were dating. My guess is that she had stars in her eyes (very common for any of us) and thought things would be better after they married. After she is legally rid of him, she can continue dating if she loves him all that much but have him live in his own house. Right now I can't see any benefit to her if he is willing to put her retirement (which he would benefit from) at risk. I'm retired and it takes a lot more than you think to maintain your standard of living. Years of savings and working where there is a pension helps but not paying twice the cost of maintaining your house when you move someone in and dipping into your savings.

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LW1: You should NOT be taking money out of your retirement account to pay for free-loading Ben. Tell Ben that he needs to pay half all the bills in the house or he can move back to his house with his daughter. You are not responsible for his grown daughter. From what you say, Ben has an adequate income. He should be paying half the utilities, half the real estate taxes, half the mortgage if there is one, and half the repairs. These are all things he'd be paying if you'd purchased a house together and would certainly be less than the rent on another home. He should also be paying half the grocery bills (or he can buy and cook his own food). It would be different if this man were disabled and couldn't work. Then the working spouse (you) would be the sole bread winner. But in that case, he'd be renting his house to someone for MONEY, rather than for love as he is now doing. If he isn't happy with the new arrangement, you know where to head next: a divorce lawyer. And oh yes, make sure the lawyer gets a court ordered settlement to at least repay you for what you've paid out to support the free-loader so far and of course the cost of your lawyer.

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LW 1: Run to the nearest divorce lawyer. This guy is using you big time! He knew what his bills were when he married you and he has already chosen his daughter over you. She is unemployed and he has to hire a housekeeper to clean up after her? That alone should tell you where his loyalities are. LW2: Pat-tricia is right. The letter was printed in Dear Abby. Someone needs to keep a sharp eye on those babies. It is even possible that if something happens to one or more of them, the grandparents could be liable, because it's their house. Assuming the children survive, what kind of parents will they become? Limit-setting is an essential part of child rearing. LW3: Those kids with the parents "upstairs asleep" were NOT being supervised. Supervision requires being conscious and present. If my teens were "sleeping over" as COUPLES, I wouldn't be able to close my eyes. And I'd make sure the booze was upstairs locked in my bedroom, while I was sitting wide-awake in the room next to the COUPLES with the door wide open. No parent in their right mind would trust the raging hormones of teen COUPLES. Despite what I wrote in the previous paragraph, I wouldn't allow teen COUPLES to "sleep over" in my house anyway. And my child isn't going to do it at someone else's home. Period. There is no legitimate excuse: It's my house and my rules. And because I'm an evil old hag-mother and know what teens can do when left to their own devices. BTW, when did sleep-overs change from girl parties to COUPLES parties?

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I would like to comment on "end of my rope" in the Boston Globe issue on June 13 could you please pass on to him (or her) to check the web site greattastenopain.com I think this web site could be a godsend, I know it was for me Lynn Notini, Chelmsford Ma.