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Re: Datura -- I agree whole heartedly. In fact, his wife's not giving him sex would be his number one justification. He'll say it's all her fault and ,at least subconsciously, it would be a way he'd be getting even with his wife. If she won't give it to him, her daughter certainly will. He may be the real reason his wife isn't giving him sex. She may be sensing something "off" about him and it makes her not want to have sex with him. Not necessarily; it's just a thought I had and I could be wrong about that. The guy needs to move out and get some counseling from someone who understands deviant sexual problems. And he should stay away from other young girls as well.

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I have been reading these message boards for a while now, and I've finally decided to join so I can post my two cents. The first letter is proof of how celibacy doesn't work and why some priests are driven to molest children. Being celibate can make a person go crazy and cause such people to have sexual thoughts about people who they normally wouldn't think of in such a manner.

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Re: Paul--I don't believe celibacy works, either, but I also don't believe it causes somebody to become a pedophile. Pedophiles put themselves in situations to allow them access to children, and it's not just celibate priests. Just about all churches have problems with it, so people need to watch out for their own and other people's kids.

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Your advice didn't go far enough and is endangering the daughter -- you should be ashanmed of yourselves.. The father is a sick individual who should move out of the house immediately and discuss this with his wife -- irregardless of the consequences to the marriage. He needs to seek immediate counseling. The priority needs to be the well being of the 16 year old daughter and any other young women this indivual comes in contact with.

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COME ON NOW, GO SEEK COUNSELING. NO NO NO, THIS IS WHY WE HAVE SUICIDE. IF YOU FIND THAT TO BE AN UNSUITABLE OPTION THEN RUN DOWN TO WAL MART AND BUY A BOTTLE OF LOTION. EITHER WAY IF YOUR SICK ENOUGH TO THINK OF YOUR DAUGHTER BECAUSE YOU HAVE NOT HAD SEX WITH YOUR WIFE YOU NEED SOMETHING MUCH MORE THAN COUNSELING. YOU NEED TO BE LOCKED UP WITH BUBBA. THEN YOU'LL HAVE ALL THE SEX YOU EVER WANTED

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Joannakathryn--In this case, I don't think the man's desires for his daughter are due to the fact that she's a child. I think they are due to the fact that he hasn't been able to have sex with his wife, and his daughter happens to be the only other female he sees on a regular basis. He may even look at his daughter and see the way his wife looked when she was younger. If it were his 30 year old sister-in-law living with them, he would probably have such feelings for her, too. He is a sexual human being who is suddenly not able to have sex, and his mind and body do not know how to react. I would like to make it clear, however, that I do not support pedophilia. Also, pedophiles don't limit themselves to teenagers with sexually maturing bodies; they also go after children who have not reached any degree of sexual maturity. Obviously, this man was very disturbed about his thoughts, which is why he wrote to Annie's Mailbox for advice. This man and his wife also need some form of marriage counseling to help them put the spark back in their marriage.

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Please tell me that the ladies have just been trolled again. Seriously. If this letter is true, then this poor girl is in big trouble. I didn't read this letter as this man trying to talk himself out of seducing his daughter. I read it as him setting up the justification for when he does so. 'Well, she didn't have a boyfriend and I know she felt it. And my wife wasn't giving me any sex!'. Fixing his relationship with his wife isn't going to help, Ladies, because this isn't what this is about. When a normal man is being denied sex, he either internalizes it, has an affair or leaves. He doesn't get the hots for his children. He should move out first and then work on counseling, preferably with someone who understands pedophilia.

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Re: Paul --- So you think it's ok for this guy to be thinking about his daughter in these terms? What if his wife were seriously ill for a long period of time? What if she were dead and he was raising his daughter alone? Do you think all men have those feelings for their daughters? Perhaps YOU have those feelings for YOUR daughter? You are one really SICK individual for even thinking it's ok for this guy to be thinking the way he is. Why not extend this to single moms raising sons. Perhaps the mom works long hours and doesn't have time to find a man. Should she be having thoughts about having sex with her son? Of course not. And no man who isn't sick in the head has those thoughts about his daughter. It's called incest by the way. And it's against the law - not just man's law but God's law. It's taboo in most societies. This man has problems with his marriage. He should be working on that. But you know, I suspect his wife has a gut feeling about the kind of guy he is. She's probably working herself to exhaustion to get enough money together to get out of that marriage and I certainly couldn't blame her. This man needs to see a professional counselor to help him deal with his problem.

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Re: Paul one thing i abhor is when people automatically listen to the media and associate Roman Catholic religion with pedophiles and ignore that there are actually more of them out there in other walks of life... Teachers, theatre groups, baby sitters, parents... but it's less fascinating (dare I say less fun) to focus on one group of people than to actually address the issue. Besides, it's a bit presumptuous that celibacy automatically leads to pedophilia. If anything, the way society wants to blur the difference between children/minors and adults with heightened sexuality is more of an issue than someone trying to be celibate.

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edit... i mean "more" not "less" in my post. eh. tyops.

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I find it interesting that he "reported" the posts that attack him... yet he felt it was OK to post a generalization accusing all priests of being pedophiles. That's just as offensive.

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Correction: In my recent post, the first sentence should have read, "Excuse me, but I do not appreciate the personal attacks that have been placed against me, and I don't feel that they are justified." I'm still very sickened by the treatment that I have received from regular contributors to these discussion boards. You are not in charge, and you do not run the show.

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Excuse me, but I do not appreciate the personal attacks that have been placed against me are justified. I never said that I supported the idea of a guy having sexual fantasies about his daughter!! All I did was give some possible reasons for the causes of such fantasies, and I did so in a very professional manner. Of course I agree that the man in this situation needs help, but I never even came close to implying that he should have sex with his daughter. I also don't appreciate having someone else's religious beliefs pushed on me. By the way, I do not have a daughter; hell, I'm not even old enough to have a teenage daughter!

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Excuse me, but I do not appreciate the personal attacks that have been placed against me are justified. I never said that I supported the idea of a guy having sexual fantasies about his daughter!! All I did was give some possible reasons for the causes of such fantasies, and I did so in a very professional manner. Of course I agree that the man in this situation needs help, but I never even came close to implying that he should have sex with his daughter. I also don't appreciate having someone else's religious beliefs pushed on me. By the way, I do not have a daughter; hell, I'm not even old enough to have a teenage daughter!

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I have reported the posts that contain personal attacks.

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Re: Pat-tricia--Thanks. You said what I was thinking. And Paul? EW! I have a very handsome 24-year-old son, and I can't even let myself go to that way of thinking about him. It makes me cringe. EW!

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Re: Joannakathryn -- Thank you for the supporting statement. Occasionally I go out on what seems like a very small limb because there are other posters who are very vocally in opposition to what I think. It's nice to know that I'm not alone sometimes. I did wonder whether Paul is one of those internet "trolls" who put out statements like that to get us going. It's really very difficult for me to comprehend how anyone but a sexual deviant could even think what he wrote. It's also wonderful to see that some guys wrote in with pretty much the same view we have on the subject. So Nate and Micah, thanks for your comments. I'm sure the ladies will agree with me in saying we look forward to more comments from you both in the future.

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Re: Pat-tricia--I don't know about you Pat-tricia, but I'm shaking in my boots. He REPORTED us? Oh lawzy me. I just know the big, bad, internet high sheriffs are going to take away my computer rights........Not.