Annie's Mailbox®, June 4
by Kathy Mitchell and Marcy Sugar
Dear Annie: I've been in an off-and-on relationship with "Denise" for seven years. We were high-school sweethearts and attended the same college. A lot of the strain on our relationship can be attributed to her family not approving of our interracial romance. In fact, for years Denise was afraid to tell her father about us. Due to this, I have no relationship with her family.
Recently, we embarked on our careers and bought a home together. I think her dad is starting to come ...
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Posted by: cllambermont
Comment: #1
Fri Jun 5, 2009 8:55 PM
As regards to Denise and BB, I have a simple suggestion, I think.
The home was a new anchor, and indication of commitment on your combined part - to each other. The "in-laws" don't have to preside in the driver's seat in this dynamic. Have a homewarming party - at your place! Send out your own invitations! You're on your own turf, and you can be exceedingly, exquisitely attentive to those that have slighted you. Kill them with kindness. It's a litmus test for those that don't respond, but I would bet my bottom dollar that most will *adjust* their personal prejudices immediately.
Then, take the high road and accept that new person into your life with whatever caveats may be necessary.
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Posted by: Matt
Comment: #2
Thu Jun 4, 2009 12:31 AM
Jack and Jill went up the hill, to cheat on each other. Jack fell down and ended his affair, but Jill has yet to come tumbling after. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
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Posted by: Carla
Comment: #3
Thu Jun 4, 2009 9:55 AM
Re LW1: Please ease up. There are not many ways in which people really change, but this is one of them. I am in an interracial marriage, and a few people that we had to keep at arm's length at first are now vocal anti-racists and some of my favorite people. We know that racism comes from ignorance and isolation. With most people who are basically kind and at least somewhat intelligent (like the people who raised your wonderful girlfriend, no doubt), it usually doesn't take too many contacts with people who don't fit the stereotypes to stand people's assumptions on end. You should never put up with hateful, hurtful comments, and you should leave, without any fanfare, any situation where this happens. Otherwise, just be the best person you can be, and they'll gradually realize how ridiculous they are in comparison, if they haven't already.
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