The letter from the woman who wrote about her father molesting children was not good. So she threatened him with the police? What she did is leave a predator free to molest the children of those who didn't know he was a threat. And in some cases, this is how such behaviour escalates into murder. If someone molests children, they are a criminal. It is not up to the family to decide how to handle it. It is not a family secret. It's a crime. By not treating it as a crime, those molested have had their trauma minimized by those who felt it was a "private matter." And those who didn't report it are partly responsible for further molestation.

LW2 - I call a fake. A 16-year-old doesn't know of any websites where she might find helpful information? I don't believe it! Has she ever heard of Google? All she needs is to type "eating disorders" into the google search window, and about 17,000,000 websites will come up, including the National Eating Disorders Association in the top five or six choices. Isn't googling a bit easier and faster than writing to an advice columnist and hoping that you will get a response?

Re: julia --- You are so right. I wonder how many other grandchildren and neighborhood children Gramps got to. If this were taken to the police and publicized, there may well be others who come forward. These victims need to be heard and they probably also need counseling. It actually shocked me that the lw did not contact the police when Gramps molested the child. When children are molested and their abuser is not called to account (in the courts), the child is further abused by being made to feel of little account. It can make them feel that people (their parents in particular) consider the abuser as more important than they are. In fact, I think that may be one reason some kids don't come forward - they think their parents either won't believe them or that they aren't important enough to do anything about the abuse. And in the case of the lw's child, isn't that exactly what happened? The lw didn't feel her child was important enough to report the abuser to the police. SHAME!

Well said, Pat-tricia! That is exactly what happened to me. I told my mother when I was being molested, and she did nothing. I later told me entire family about it and they lashed out at me. I feel very sorry for my young niece. I do not know her since I have no contact with my family, but I see pictures of her from time to time, and she looks like me. I have warned my sister that she should keep my niece away from him both verbally and in writing, but she just gets angry at me.
If my niece is being molested, I hope she will one day contact me and tell me so I can bring out the copy of the certified letter I sent to my sister, and she can use it as evidence for suing her.